Any Americans or Expats living in the US?

I lived for 6 years in Missouri and for a further year either in Michigan or North Carolina. I'm not deliberately trying to put you off but I'm going to be *brutally honest* – the Missouri period, anyway, was probably the worst time of my life. Cali may well be better – my sister and father lived not too far from LA and they found it quite OK. As for me, well I wish I'd come back to Blighty sooner. Cali is more liberal and health-conscious than many other states. Plus the weather is pleasant and pretty predictable. In Missouri, you have roasting summers and perishing winters. I'm not going to lie, I found the American culture I experienced to be relatively shallow and insubstantial. OK it didn't help that I mainly lived in a semi-rural relative backwater, and my experience of the big cities is a little better. Still, as a European you will, I'd wager, find their culture and history rather limited. I reckon I could boil their dominant culture down to probably less than a dozen primary elements which include things like food, cars, money, sex, "movies" and their superheroes, sports, firearms, their bloody military, religion/church – well those are the key ones that immediately come to mind. My advice is get used to their beloved sports, because you're going to be hearing about them a hell of a lot (personally I found nearly all of them as dull as ditchwater, with baseball being the worst offender of all) and as a nation, they are virtually obsessed with them. This being said, I'm not much into physical sports myself so I may be biased there. The military is another obsession, and you get to hear about it a lot. So is religion (i.e. Christianity) and my advice is to stay away from discussions on religion (or politics) if you want to be sure of staying safe and having an easy life. I met a lot of people who had barely left their home towns, let alone had travelled abroad and seen the world. Many Americans are quick to state how they are the greatest nation on earth, yet these are often the same people who have never left their home states. The level of ignorance re. the rest of the world among some (many?) can be depressing. The national flag-waving/jingoism is another prominent element and it can sometimes be too much. For God's sake, never say anything they take to be in any way anti-American, or you'll be in a real mess. I once made the mistake of questioning why they weren't backing us up on recent disputes with Argentina over the Falklands, as we always are the first to support them in almost everything they do. This went down incredibly badly. There are major levels of inequality for a wealthy nation and in my view a healthcare system which practically punishes the less well off is wrong at a fundamental level. As a European, many people asked me if I had a "socialist" government, as apparently that's what they typically associate with folks over here. What I will say is that overall they have a higher standard of living, and what that translates to a large extent into is more space, with things like houses and cars being larger and rather cheaper. There were some positives about living there, but I find they are more minor. The landscape when you get out into it can be breathtaking. For shopping and buying goods, you are in many - but not all respects - well covered. If food is your thing, then you are well catered for and the quality is generally very high. I'm an avid pool player and there is a strong scene for that there (they still can't accept that snooker is a more skilful game, though!). There is in my experience also a very good system of adult education, evening classes, and similar – they are much better catered for in that respect than we are, I think. I found making friends not easy, and many locals already had friends from uni, work, or their local church, or from their kids’ schools or sports teams. As a Brit, I was regarded as something of a novelty by some locals, and on a number of occasions people just wanted to hear me talk, almost as if they were unaware of there being around 60 million people who speak to a greater or lesser extent as I do! One bonus may be that many people will like your "accent" and this could at times get you noticed, assuming you welcome such attention. I'm speaking about Missouri here; in Cali I believe they are generally more diverse, with more people having come in from other parts of the world. I hope you don't mind me being so frank. I've also lived for some years in several northern European countries and my experiences there were completely different. I never felt at home in the States and it turned out not to be something for me, but your experience - should you go down that route - might be different. At the end of the day, I guess I'm just an Old World European :)

Thanks Catlover for taking the time to share your experience in such a comprehensive reply. The whole thing is very confusing. As you say I think California is more diverse and therefore possibly more open minded than some other states. Where we would be is as close to the Mexican border as it is LA, so has a big Hispanic influence. My biggest concern remains work. We plan to go for at least 3 years, and although my wife has a good job, I don’t want to sit around the whole time, I think I would get really depressed. I am also very particular about where I work and fall apart at interviews, which is why I’m self employed here. It’s a real dilemma. It’s really either go for 3 years and see what happens (not good at not planning every detail first!) or don’t go.

Thanks again.

Oh, and if it would be too hot for our Bengal!

Hi Riddler,

You're welcome, glad I could provide some useful input to the topic. My own experience, which I perhaps didn't mention clearly enough in my previous post, was that I seldom found people I felt I had much in common with. Most places looked and felt the same to me, having mostly the same old (or rather, new, stuff!) pretty much wherever you went. Not easy to do, but if I had to describe my experience in a single word, it would probably be "soulless".

But as we said, Cali might well be a more inspiring prospect. You should do some research into the climate, but my understanding is it remains pleasantly warm the great majority of the year. It's a dry climate, though. Keep in mind there is some dangerous wildlife in the US if you're letting your pet outside – we don't know for sure, but our belief is my father's cat was taken by big cat or similar from the mountains bordering on his house. 

Regarding work, I was only ever able to get agency work - there seems plenty of that, at least where I was. My UK quals didn't seem to translate into so much over there, but then they are rather niche! But who knows, you may do better in CA, should you decide to take on the adventure! 

Whatever you decide, hope things go well for you – keep us posted! :)

Hi Riddler,

You're welcome, glad I could provide some useful input to the topic. My own experience, which I perhaps didn't mention clearly enough in my previous post, was that I seldom found people I felt I had much in common with. Most places looked and felt the same to me, having mostly the same old (or rather, new, stuff!) pretty much wherever you went. Not easy to do, but if I had to describe my experience in a single word, it would probably be "soulless".

But as we said, Cali might well be a more inspiring prospect. You should do some research into the climate, but my understanding is it remains pleasantly warm the great majority of the year. It's a dry climate, though. Keep in mind there is some dangerous wildlife in the US if you're letting your pet outside – we don't know for sure, but our belief is my father's cat was taken by big cat or similar from the mountains bordering on his house. 

Regarding work, I was only ever able to get agency work - there seems plenty of that, at least where I was. My UK quals didn't seem to translate into so much over there, but then they are rather niche! But who knows, you may do better in CA, should you decide to take on the adventure! 

Whatever you decide, hope things go well for you – keep us posted! :)