• Replies 8 replies
  • Subscribers 82 subscribers
  • Views 1799 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Shopping anxieties

P1nkG1n

Currently away this week with boyfriend, his mum and his son. I've been getting a bit stressed because I'm not really sure what I should be doing. I've enjoyed listening to Audible but it's rude sticking my headphones on. 

HHis mum has been cooking most the week. I'm not comfortable doing that as it's not my kitchen and also I'm a rubbish cook. A 20 minute meal will take me 90 mins - 2hours to cook (many tears and swearing too). Alas, I have found a one pan recipe and just have to get on with it.

Now, another massive issue is shopping. I rarely did the shops before and bulk buy so I don't have to go out (or shop online). The pandemic helped with not having to go to shops. I was supposed to get the ingredients from Aldi just now. Instead I've stressed and cried and not gone. I'm peeved because I took a deep breath, I wasn't happy but I was going to give the shopping a go. Prepped a list, got bags, mask etc. Then bf said his mum was coming. Grocery stores are not for days out. So now they have gone together. I've retreated to the bedroom and can't face anyone.

Well done if you made it this far. In summary, shopping is rubbish, it's even more stressful with additional pandemic rules; cooking is stressful; wearing a bra is stressful; being in the company of others all the time is stressful. 

  • in reply to P1nkG1n

    I've found that a screen refresh brings up the Reply buttons

  • in reply to Deleted User

    I think it is a bit of everything you've said. Even just watching TV was tough. I just watched it because everyone else was. It all seems so ridiculous and self centred. I hate these feelings.

    We did do some quizzes and as much as I'm rubbish it was nice to do. I cooked a fairly simple tray bake dinner of salmon, asparagus, potatoes and cherry tomatoes which went down well (with no tears or swearing).

    Home now. 

  • @GoldenHaze (Sorry, no reply button and cannot @ you properly) That sounds really tough. I'm lucky the family are really lovely. I guess it takes a lot for me to feel completely comfortable around anyone. Even then it's not all the time. 

  • in reply to Deleted User

    Also that "I'm not sure what I should be doing" thing. It's hard isn't it, cos I know when you go and see someone it's to be sociable, but staying over at someone's it's like there's no escape. You can't be "on" all the time and no one expects you to be. 

    Bit off topic but...I have a friend who, when I see, it's overnight for one or two nights. I bring board games just in case. It involves social interaction but with a purpose. It takes less mental capacity thinking in the game than it would do if we were to sit and chat for the same length of time.  Just takes the pressure off a bit. Don't know if that's something you could try.

  • Being in a different environment. Being with people 24/7 who you don't normally live with AND feeling the pressure to be sociable. Having a different routine. Feeling guilty you're not cooking or worrying people are judging you possibly...? Finding shopping too much but steeling yourself to go anyway to show your contribution. THEN having his mum come along which wasn't in the plan.

    To me, it'd be drip,  drip, drip until it overflows. 

    I think it's totally to do with a situation you are not comfortable with. Whether it's ASC or anxiety or both,  you need somewhere you can be alone and not feel guilty about it.

  • I can't express how much I can relate to this. My BFs family is a very "loud and eccentric" and I find myself in so many uncomfortable situations that leave me in a panicked state. I feel absolutely awful when I'm sat with my BF crying some days over something his parents did or didn't do to help or made me feel uncomfortable.

    Last year I took a holiday with them and I think every night ended in me being upset about something they did. We were at a caravan park and they all wanted to go to the club but it was ridiculously loud in there and which was too much for me so I couldn't be in there and my BF didnt want to leave me alone so came with me. I felt so isolated that night with the feeling his whole family hated me because I wouldn't sit with them.

    Going out is a huge ordeal I end up needing to have a nap after each trip out. As you said it's a stressful experience and it's very exhausting with everything that goes through your head with anxiety as well. PLUS... BRAS... Evil instruments of discomfort. It's bad enough having to mentally prepare yourself for going out and then to have to put a bra on as well is a nightmare!! As I too have been enjoying this braless time over lockdown :D

  • in reply to Desmond79

    Thanks for your reply. It may well be a social thing too. I currently only have a diagnosis of anxiety and awaiting ASD assessment. 

    I usually just use online or BF has gone with no trouble (maybe slight mocking that he is driving and shopping AGAIN). Maybe some of the panic came from being forced into a situation I'm not comfortable with. Why do people do that? BF is usually pretty good but felt I was angry at him. I tried to explain I was unhappy with the situation and within that mood and mindset I can't be happy with people (makes no sense).

    Amazon has been great. I got 12 jars of cockles lol.

    I think many bras were made redundant through lockdown. I tend to wear it socially now. 6 months of eating and drinking what I want has made the bras worse than before. Looking forward to my own house and space where it can go back in the draw.haha.

  • Perhaps Social-Phobia as well as Autism.

    Try and stick with grocery apps, if you don't like heading out shopping. A couple of hours ago, I ordered groceries from Asda on the app; which will arrive tomorrow. Does Aldi have an app for deliveries?

    Amazon was a Godsend for me during the Lockdown. It was the only place I could get pasta six months ago. I bought a bulk of twelve packets of restaurant-quality pasta for £26 - £20 plus delivery. Dear, but everywhere else then had none. Plus, I had a giggle at the pasta coming from a warehouse in Slough. (made me think of the David Brent film)

    Also, if bras make you uncomfortable then don't wear them.