Newbie, no diagnosis, thoroughly confused

Hi, older female Aspie here - offered referral for diagnosis in my fifties but decided not to a) because I was told I would get no support as I can work and b) what I heard about the diagnosis put me off as I knew some of it would make me feel uncomfortable and stressed. So I'm self diagnosed, but I know what I am and I'm comfortable with that.

Part of the process of my self diagnosis was reading a book called "Am I Autistic" by Lydia Andal and reading the description of female traits and characteristics complied by Tania Marshall: https://taniaannmarshall.wordpress.com/2013/03/26/moving-towards-a-female-profile-the-unique-characteristics-abilities-and-talents-of-asperwomen-adult-women-with-asperger-syndrome/

It was a surprise to me to find that autistic women are often very sensitive and emotional, when there is often a view in society that autistic people aren't like that. This community is very accepting and supportive and you should hopefully find it helpful. 

Hi,

I understand that diagnosis is a lengthy process but it also takes time for me to get used to new things. I also like to be somewhat prepared too. I like a rough idea of what's going to happen. I need to do a little more reading first.

Good luck with your journey 

I don't know how to reply to the main topic so replying here instead. I am F, 35 and approached my GP two weeks ago who has agreed to refer me. It's taken me 4 years almost,  to speak to my doctor about it. I've been told the waiting list is  about18 months. I wish I had gone to my GP earlier but didn't know if I wanted to go through the process or if i wold be believed. I have been on this forum for about two years to get insight and information but at the end of the day,  unless I have an assessment I will never know.

It's got to the stage where I need to know one way or another in order to move on with my life. Things which used to bother me now don't so much, but other problems come up as you get older.  Maybe get yourself on the waiting list then you can always use the time to decide what you want to do.

If you find it resonates with you, there's probably a very good reason why.

Thank you all for taking the time to reply. I've done a few online tests and all come back with 'strong autistic traits'.

For the most part I've been able to manage my anxieties by developing different coping strategies. A lot of the time it involves having a soft weighted blanket or heat. The anxiety surrounding social situations and changes in routines is what I really struggle with though. It's exauhsting as I have to 'rehearse' conversations in my head before talking to people. I spend most of the day doing it. I try my best to avoid talking to people 1 on 1. I can't deal with confrontation at all. If something happens that I'm not used to I completely 'freak out'.

In terms of the sensory side, I have what I call my little 'quirks'. I've got to wrap my pillowcase around my fingers at night. I do the same with blankets and cuffs of sleeves. I can't touch raw meat or other slimy foods like banana. I genuinely don't understand this slime craze! I'm really sensitive when it comes to noise.

These are just a few things I've noticed.

I dunno. I think like a couple of you have said, I'm going to stick around this forum a while. See how it feels. My 'traits' have caused problems for me in terms of work and personal life. I would be interested to see how, if at all, a diagnosis changed people's work lives.

Thank you all for taking the time to reply. I've done a few online tests and all come back with 'strong autistic traits'.

For the most part I've been able to manage my anxieties by developing different coping strategies. A lot of the time it involves having a soft weighted blanket or heat. The anxiety surrounding social situations and changes in routines is what I really struggle with though. It's exauhsting as I have to 'rehearse' conversations in my head before talking to people. I spend most of the day doing it. I try my best to avoid talking to people 1 on 1. I can't deal with confrontation at all. If something happens that I'm not used to I completely 'freak out'.

In terms of the sensory side, I have what I call my little 'quirks'. I've got to wrap my pillowcase around my fingers at night. I do the same with blankets and cuffs of sleeves. I can't touch raw meat or other slimy foods like banana. I genuinely don't understand this slime craze! I'm really sensitive when it comes to noise.

These are just a few things I've noticed.

I dunno. I think like a couple of you have said, I'm going to stick around this forum a while. See how it feels. My 'traits' have caused problems for me in terms of work and personal life. I would be interested to see how, if at all, a diagnosis changed people's work lives.

I'm in the self-diagnosed bracket at the moment and have joined the forum to a) check to see if I really fit in with this self-diagnosis and b) to get support, community and new insight to help me make better sense of the world.

I've been posting a lot here and I've found I really feel at home.

What you write here sounds very similar to my kind of thoughts that have led me to my own tentative-ish self-diagnosis.

I'd personally say it's worth sticking around a bit and seeing if some of the people here fit in with how you see some of life.

Everyone here seems pretty accepting of those of us who feel we probably fit in here but don't necessarily have the diagnosis.

You should have a go at doing an online AQ and EQ test. At least this will give your GP something to go on...

AQ online test

psychology-tools.com/.../autism-spectrum-quotient

EQ online test

psychology-tools.com/.../empathy-quotient

No you should trust your instinct and consider a getting a diagnosis. if its affecting your everyday life and causing you issues with maintaining relationships and you find difficulties understanding and interpreting other among other issue you should go to you general practitioner and request a diagnosis. If its not autism it could be something else such as attention deficit hyperactive disorder or it could be combination of both or something completely different. 

The average waiting time for autism assessment really depends on location but in the England the average waiting time for adult diagnosis is two to three years and attention deficit hyperactive disorder can be around six years.

I have also been thrown through the misdiagnosis of depression, anxiety and even Oppositional defiant disorder as a child. I have been through countless counselling sessions, cognitive behavioral therapy and anxiety and depression medication that just haven't worked. I am currently awaiting diagnosis for attention deficit hyperactive disorder that is co morbid with my autism and until i have the diagnosis my general practitioner can not prescribe me melatonin and attention deficit hyperactive disorder stimulant medication.

Having the autism diagnosis has explained a lot about my behavior and even awaiting the attention deficit hyperactive disorder has helped me understand and manage my weakness way better, having the diagnosis has helped me understand but my experience of other attitude towards me when I have disclosed my diagnosis hasn't been positive one bit.  

I am awaiting diagnosis since I visited my GP in January. Obviously with the world as it is I am not holding my breath on when it will happen. Diagnosis is not the be all and end all for me, but important. If I was you I would take some time out the study ASD, particually some great people on youtube that really helped me. It is a massivley complex thing and I am nowhere near understanding me and my brain but it is small steps at a time.

I'm sorry to hear that and thank you. I'm not ready to go any further at the moment.  I feel quite overwhelmed as it is so need some time I guess.

Don't rush into it... Just take your time - bite sized chunks. I was diagnosed two years ago and honestly - its een tougher than loosing both parents. Actually that was  a breeze in comparison :(