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Newbie, no diagnosis, thoroughly confused

Discombobulated

Hi all,

I'm a 31 year old female. I do not have an ASD diagnosis. Over the past few months however I have read journals and seen Ted Talks etc which have really resonated with me. They've made me realise that there may be a reason why I've never 'fitted in' and why I'm 'over sensitive', 'emotional' and in some people's eyes 'odd'.

I've joined the community to try and find out a bit more and hopefully talk to other people who may understand me for once. I don't know whether I am on the spectrum but I relate so much to what I'm seeing about aspergers/high functioning autism.

I'm not quite sure yet whether to go down the route of a diagnosis or even HOW to do it. Hopefully that's something I can figure out as I find out more too.

I feel quite confused (discombobulated) and isolated with all this. My partner was open about it to start with but now thinks I'm being a bit of a hypochondriac which actually makes me feel more misunderstood and isolated. I don't want to diagnose myself and know I can't.

I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety (specifically social anxiety) in my early teens. I've had a ridiculous amount of therapy sessions, CBT, counselling, confidence workshops etc etc. I can say it's helped a little but I still really struggle with particular things. I don't really want to list it all right now, I feel like the list is endless.

Am I being daft? Am I being a hypochondriac? Am I trying to justify why I'm a 'fruit loop' when really that's just the way I am? This has just turned into a rant of sorts and I apologise for that. Congratulations if you actually managed to get to the end  Upside down

Parents

  • Thank you all for taking the time to reply. I've done a few online tests and all come back with 'strong autistic traits'.

    For the most part I've been able to manage my anxieties by developing different coping strategies. A lot of the time it involves having a soft weighted blanket or heat. The anxiety surrounding social situations and changes in routines is what I really struggle with though. It's exauhsting as I have to 'rehearse' conversations in my head before talking to people. I spend most of the day doing it. I try my best to avoid talking to people 1 on 1. I can't deal with confrontation at all. If something happens that I'm not used to I completely 'freak out'.

    In terms of the sensory side, I have what I call my little 'quirks'. I've got to wrap my pillowcase around my fingers at night. I do the same with blankets and cuffs of sleeves. I can't touch raw meat or other slimy foods like banana. I genuinely don't understand this slime craze! I'm really sensitive when it comes to noise.

    These are just a few things I've noticed.

    I dunno. I think like a couple of you have said, I'm going to stick around this forum a while. See how it feels. My 'traits' have caused problems for me in terms of work and personal life. I would be interested to see how, if at all, a diagnosis changed people's work lives.

  • in reply to Discombobulated

    I don't know how to reply to the main topic so replying here instead. I am F, 35 and approached my GP two weeks ago who has agreed to refer me. It's taken me 4 years almost,  to speak to my doctor about it. I've been told the waiting list is  about18 months. I wish I had gone to my GP earlier but didn't know if I wanted to go through the process or if i wold be believed. I have been on this forum for about two years to get insight and information but at the end of the day,  unless I have an assessment I will never know.

    It's got to the stage where I need to know one way or another in order to move on with my life. Things which used to bother me now don't so much, but other problems come up as you get older.  Maybe get yourself on the waiting list then you can always use the time to decide what you want to do.

    If you find it resonates with you, there's probably a very good reason why.

  • in reply to Deleted User

    Hi,

    I understand that diagnosis is a lengthy process but it also takes time for me to get used to new things. I also like to be somewhat prepared too. I like a rough idea of what's going to happen. I need to do a little more reading first.

    Good luck with your journey Slight smile

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