Published on 12, July, 2020
Like most with autism I dont like change and I am finding everything really overwhelming and was wondering how others were coping?
It may seem daft but I am not worried about catching it, well obviously I don’t want to catch it but I am not anxious and thinking that I am going to catch it. It’s the lockdown and lack of routine that is sending me mad. I have my set routines and now I have to stay in I cant follow my weekly routines and this is what is causing me the stress. I do feel like your going to think I am being selfish as all I have to do is stay at home and others are putting their lives at risk, I just cant snap out of it.
A few years ago I had bit of a breakdown when things changed too much and it made me really ill, I am worried this may happen again, I live on my own and am really considering ignoring all the rules and just getting out of here but I no that is wrong and I think the stress of breaking the rules would then cause me an issue.
maybe I am over reacting, what is everybody else doing to get through this?, anybody else struggling too?
I'm coping okay in the main. I've had a few moments where I've feel frustrated and somewhat claustrophobic but a lot of this isn't too much change for me. I've always been a 'social distancer' and in many ways if we could retain that as a rule but without the pressure of a virus over us all, and less restrictions on how far and how many times we can go out....I wouldn't mind too much LOL. i am missing the family dogs that I usually see on Fridays and Sundays when I go to my parents for tea. But right now obviously I can't go there because I live alone. I can't get out to places where I would normally go bird watching to do photography either which is not good because I know what happens with me if I leave to big a gap between doing something (Even if It's something enjoy like bird watching and photography) I find it extremely hard to get back to it. Because as much as I might enjoy things a lot of things often put me off. Noise, having to deal with strangers. I always have to have a fight internally to get myself out there. When I leave a big gap.... I have to fight twice as hard because I become used to not having to deal with the bits that put me off and get too comfortable I guess. So I dread to think how hard I'm going to find it when it comes to readjusting to normal. I foresee a huge potential to fall into one of my deep depressions. I keep telling myself to start a routine where I get up early to do photography of the birds from my window. But my sleep pattern has become messed up since lockdown as all appointments are cancelled or on the phone and so I have less to get me out of bed in the morning which means I fall a sleep and don't wake up most days till noon. I haven't had to worry about shopping as I'm classed as high risk and though I'm not in the shielded group, so I can still go outside for small walks, I have been advised not to do the shopping and have someone else do it for me.