How is everyone coping with the current changes?

I'm struggling rather badly at the moment. Ironically, I can't get as socially isolated as I usually prefer to be because of everyone else socially isolating. I'm really starting to suffer with the constant noise of neighbours all being at home all day long every day. Because of my financial circumstances, I'm in a bedsit in a terrace of old back-to-back houses - so I have three very thin party walls and a "party floor". Two party walls adjoin kids bedrooms, and I already have to put up with lost sleep because of a screaming baby on one side. But now there's TVs/music blaring out at all hours, kids quite literally bouncing of the walls sometimes out of sheer boredom, dogs yapping all day outside because people don't want them under their feet in the house, neighbours who are using lockdown to get noisy DIY jobs done, etc., etc. - it's a constant barrage that I have no way to get away from (I moved here precisely because it was usually so quiet - but the neighbours have all changed since I've been here).

There is no time of day or night that I'm not getting disturbed, and my excercise time isn't quiet either, as the only place I can reach is the same little park which is the only nearby green space - so that's full of barking dogs, screaming kids, and exasperated parents, too. I've tried going at different times of day, but there doesn't really seem to be a quiet period at a reasonable hour (and I'm a bit limited that way due to the effects that this is all having on my sleep and social anxiety - I'm too burned-out a lot of the time to be sure that I could speak coherently to anyone if I had to).

Unfortunately, I'm not one of those people who can use ear-plugs or even noise-cancelling headphones, as the residual sound that they leave is worse for me than not using them at all - it's my brain constantly trying to identify and decode sounds that's the problem, not the loudness. My executive functioning gets really messed up by any kind of noise, but especially the sound of voices or music - I can't ignore them no matter how quiet or indistinct they are (quiet and indistinct is often worst of all). Masking other people's noise with my own isn't much help either, as I'm not a person who ever makes much noise - I don't enjoy watching TV/films, and while I do listen to and make music (always on headphones), it is always an activity in it's own right, as I can't stand even my own noise if I'm trying to do anything else. There really is no such thing as "background noise" to me - I have craved complete silence my whole life, to the point of having regularly fantasised about deafening myself ever since I was a child.

It seems really strange to be complaining that I can't get far enough away from people when everyone else is complaining about the opposite, and I know from experience that trying to get people to compromise on this is impossible - whenever I've tried it, I get sympathetic enough looks and words, but it only takes five minutes before the next slammed door has me jumping out of my skin. I don't understand the apparent need to be constantly broadcasting every single action as loudly as possible and to have noise just for the sake of having noise - but it seems wired into human behaviour in a way that makes most people totally oblivious to it, and I have never been able to explain to them that it doesn't work that way for me. I suspect that the fact that I'm always so quiet is part of them problem - they very rarely hear a peep out of me, so they assume that I can't hear them, no matter how often I report otherwise.

Part of the reason that this is my first post for a while is because I'm taking the opportunity to do it while there's a rare break in the racket - I really haven't been able to use the forums otherwise, as I'm either shutting down or on the verge of a melt-down all the time, and I just cant' string my thoughts together or take in what other people have written. I desperately need some proper sleep, as I'm only getting 2-3 hours at a stretch whenever I can get it, and I'm on tenterhooks even during the odd lulls in the cacophony, because I know it will start up again any moment. I can usually just about cope with bank holiday weekends or the kids being off school because they're time limited and people aren't all cooped up indoors all of the time - but the current situation has my coping strategies beaten; it is just too relentless, too claustrophobic, and with no idea how long I might have to bear it.

It doesn't help that my usual online social places are now full of endless talk about the virus, and most of it is just pointless speculation, idiotic conspiracy theories, political sniping, or the same few jokes which wore thin weeks ago; all of which I am now thoroughly sick of reading. Seeing people helping each other out as they are here is great, of course, and I have no problem with Covid being the topic of conversation in that context; but otherwise, the vast majority of what I'm reading seems like yet more noise just for the sake of making noise, and I have lost all desire to take part any more.

I hate to say it, but my natural list towards being a tad misanthropic is rapidly becoming a complete capsize. I am becoming utterly sick of other humans being anywhere near me and I want them all to disappear, or at least to shut them all up somehow. I can't help remembering that the word "barbarians" is where we get "blah, blah, blah" from - they were literally the people who were too uncivilised to be worth listening to. I don't care that I couldn't survive long if they did all go away - I'd rather die a quiet, peaceful death of Covid than suffer this cacophony for very much longer.

I'm struggling rather badly at the moment. Ironically, I can't get as socially isolated as I usually prefer to be because of everyone else socially isolating. I'm really starting to suffer with the constant noise of neighbours all being at home all day long every day. Because of my financial circumstances, I'm in a bedsit in a terrace of old back-to-back houses - so I have three very thin party walls and a "party floor". Two party walls adjoin kids bedrooms, and I already have to put up with lost sleep because of a screaming baby on one side. But now there's TVs/music blaring out at all hours, kids quite literally bouncing of the walls sometimes out of sheer boredom, dogs yapping all day outside because people don't want them under their feet in the house, neighbours who are using lockdown to get noisy DIY jobs done, etc., etc. - it's a constant barrage that I have no way to get away from (I moved here precisely because it was usually so quiet - but the neighbours have all changed since I've been here).

There is no time of day or night that I'm not getting disturbed, and my excercise time isn't quiet either, as the only place I can reach is the same little park which is the only nearby green space - so that's full of barking dogs, screaming kids, and exasperated parents, too. I've tried going at different times of day, but there doesn't really seem to be a quiet period at a reasonable hour (and I'm a bit limited that way due to the effects that this is all having on my sleep and social anxiety - I'm too burned-out a lot of the time to be sure that I could speak coherently to anyone if I had to).

Unfortunately, I'm not one of those people who can use ear-plugs or even noise-cancelling headphones, as the residual sound that they leave is worse for me than not using them at all - it's my brain constantly trying to identify and decode sounds that's the problem, not the loudness. My executive functioning gets really messed up by any kind of noise, but especially the sound of voices or music - I can't ignore them no matter how quiet or indistinct they are (quiet and indistinct is often worst of all). Masking other people's noise with my own isn't much help either, as I'm not a person who ever makes much noise - I don't enjoy watching TV/films, and while I do listen to and make music (always on headphones), it is always an activity in it's own right, as I can't stand even my own noise if I'm trying to do anything else. There really is no such thing as "background noise" to me - I have craved complete silence my whole life, to the point of having regularly fantasised about deafening myself ever since I was a child.

It seems really strange to be complaining that I can't get far enough away from people when everyone else is complaining about the opposite, and I know from experience that trying to get people to compromise on this is impossible - whenever I've tried it, I get sympathetic enough looks and words, but it only takes five minutes before the next slammed door has me jumping out of my skin. I don't understand the apparent need to be constantly broadcasting every single action as loudly as possible and to have noise just for the sake of having noise - but it seems wired into human behaviour in a way that makes most people totally oblivious to it, and I have never been able to explain to them that it doesn't work that way for me. I suspect that the fact that I'm always so quiet is part of them problem - they very rarely hear a peep out of me, so they assume that I can't hear them, no matter how often I report otherwise.

Part of the reason that this is my first post for a while is because I'm taking the opportunity to do it while there's a rare break in the racket - I really haven't been able to use the forums otherwise, as I'm either shutting down or on the verge of a melt-down all the time, and I just cant' string my thoughts together or take in what other people have written. I desperately need some proper sleep, as I'm only getting 2-3 hours at a stretch whenever I can get it, and I'm on tenterhooks even during the odd lulls in the cacophony, because I know it will start up again any moment. I can usually just about cope with bank holiday weekends or the kids being off school because they're time limited and people aren't all cooped up indoors all of the time - but the current situation has my coping strategies beaten; it is just too relentless, too claustrophobic, and with no idea how long I might have to bear it.

It doesn't help that my usual online social places are now full of endless talk about the virus, and most of it is just pointless speculation, idiotic conspiracy theories, political sniping, or the same few jokes which wore thin weeks ago; all of which I am now thoroughly sick of reading. Seeing people helping each other out as they are here is great, of course, and I have no problem with Covid being the topic of conversation in that context; but otherwise, the vast majority of what I'm reading seems like yet more noise just for the sake of making noise, and I have lost all desire to take part any more.

I hate to say it, but my natural list towards being a tad misanthropic is rapidly becoming a complete capsize. I am becoming utterly sick of other humans being anywhere near me and I want them all to disappear, or at least to shut them all up somehow. I can't help remembering that the word "barbarians" is where we get "blah, blah, blah" from - they were literally the people who were too uncivilised to be worth listening to. I don't care that I couldn't survive long if they did all go away - I'd rather die a quiet, peaceful death of Covid than suffer this cacophony for very much longer.

I can really relate to how you feel. Your reply could have been written for me!

I have a neighbour who is noisy and I've had issues with over the years. They slam doors, have loud house parties etc. I was once off work for months due to the stress this caused me. It can make your home like a prison. Fortunately I can wear earplugs without a problem. I'd like to get ear cancelling headphones. 

I think trying to get enough sleep should be a priority. I know how bad I feel mentally with not much sleep. Could you not wear earplugs in bed? X

Trogluddite said:

I hate to say it, but my natural list towards being a tad misanthropic is rapidly becoming a complete capsize. I am becoming utterly sick of other humans being anywhere near me and I want them all to disappear, or at least to shut them all up somehow. I can't help remembering that the word "barbarians" is where we get "blah, blah, blah" from - they were literally the people who were too uncivilised to be worth listening to. I don't care that I couldn't survive long if they did all go away - I'd rather die a quiet, peaceful death of Covid than suffer this cacophony for very much longer.

One of my favourite types of dreams is when it is as if everybody has left this planet without me and I am all alone, absolutely heaven sent dreams. 

Anyway ~ there is a mindfulness exercise that some people find useful when struggling with intense tinnitus (i.e., high pitched and loud volumed ringing, clicking, buzzing, grinding, hissing, grating and or roaring in the ears), where by one learns to listen more instead to the comparative silence ~ such as is present between spoken words and other sounds that actually allows us to differentiate between different levels and types of sound.

It is much the same as learning to listen to one particular instrument being played in a musical performance, such as the drums or a bass guitar in a band or a violin or oboe in an orchestra, or one particular voice in a harmony, only the comparative silence is sought to compensate for the excess noise, which can otherwise become an all possessing hypersensitivity.

Learning to hear and listen more to one’s inner silence may prove helpful, particularly involving one's aspergenic perserverance, rather than perhaps just feeling that one is at a loss for something deeper and more meaningful to do ~ aside from just putting up with or getting driven insane by the human hubbub, racket and din.

Some people find internally reading or quoting poetry and learning to appreciate the beauty of the words by way of the silence instead between and after completing them. One can even learn to appreciate the silence of letters as being containers or vessels of silence so that they may be heard or more actually 'sensed' with greater character.