Is it abusive to ask for help when desperate?

You can take a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.

Some people can't be saved and you should just move on from attempting to do so.  To do anything other than move on, is a waste of time and energy.

@OP, I dont know you, but it seems everyone else does and after reading your other thread it seems you dont have the ability to take a bad situation from your past, leave it there and move on.  If you can't do that then asking for all the help in the world will make no difference.  So you should give up.  Logically that is.  At much the same time to continually ask for help while not accepting it is indeed abusive behaviour.

And now had my post from last week asking for help removed....... I do not feel understood and feel,abused

Thanks Desmond. Yes I was also not very good at English o levels , but got top grades and jumped 2 years in maths!

people have taken the trouble to write lots on here. Many thanks, but if I don’t survive I hope this may help,with understanding of the suicidal,autistic mind and the injustices of the police.

it feels like lots of people have given me logical reasons to fend my life as my values don’t seem to fit any more

I was in the same position he was in after I lost my job in 2004. The world was against me. It stems from our black-and-white mindset. We struggle to read between the lines - the main reason I lagged well behind the rest of my class at comprehension. It only clicked at GCSE time, and I got a C in English. (my wordiness and understanding of irony/humour came from online friends)

No it is not abusive to ask for help when desperate, but the way you have asked for help a number of times has been abusive ~ as I explained previously in terms of you using the threat of suicide to gain assistance, such as one of the more recent examples:

DaveAsperg said:

No replies. I certainly feel alone and wonder what others make of me as I no longer seem to fit anywhere. Frightening for suicidal thinking

https://community.autism.org.uk/f/adults-on-the-autistic-spectrum/17958/regrets-obsession/136008#136008

DaveAsperg said:

Does anyone understand?

Of course ~ although I was setting myself up against the mental health system as in contrast to you setting yourself up against the legal justice system, and my poor-me violins out sessioning was just generalized sympathy busking about people belittling me because I refused to belittle them ~ despite me doing so privately with others using full on aspertechian hypocrite factor ten mode!?!

I was using a social mask of victimhood and as such getting persecuted. 

Maybe give up playing the blame game with others and the shame game with yourself ~ it's not called a double blag for nothing if you know what I mean?

Is it abusive to ask for help?

Per se? No, of course not.

However; to varying degrees, and in no particular order, it may perceived as abusive to...

• Pester people who have made clear that they are not in a position to help you.
• Expect forms or degrees of help which are beyond the remit or resources of a helper.
• Expect a disproportionate share of limited resources or unfair prioritisation.
• Imply that inability to, or refusal of, help is the cause of your suffering or its furtherance (emotional blackmail).
• Use abusive, disrespectful, or dismissive language when requesting help.
• Accuse others who also require help of interfering with your own access to it.
• Expect subordinates to overcome systemic or institutional problems.

Could any or all of the above, or the reasons for them, be assumed or deduced incorrectly? Certainly.

Might the traits of autism make such misunderstandings more likely? Certainly; indeed, it has happened to me more than once.

Does any of the above apply to your current circumstances? I have no way to know for sure. But even if so, I don't see how  repeatedly posting heavily loaded questions on an internet support forum is likely to be productive; and responders are entitled to give you the advice which they reasonably believe you might need to hear, and are not obliged to give you the advice that you want to hear, no matter how many times you rephrase the problem.

I do sympathise with what I understand of your situation, and I am all too familiar with perserveration; but as Plastic has already suggested, there are times when the best that can be done is to let sleeping dogs lie, no matter how injust this might feel or be in fact. My opinion is that the kind of help you would be better off seeking is help to come to terms with your current situation and the mental health consequences of what has happened to you; and keeping in mind that the kind of services which might provide this are not in a position to help you to correct past injustices, and that it is unreasonable to ask this of them.

I’ve been nearly killed by this and left disabled and humiliated. Blind in one eye most of my spine broken can barely walk. Didn’t of rg anise children’s careers well as too busy working. Now trying to set up a suicide centre on as nhs seems no good

yes wasting life entrenched no way out hopeless and helpless, which is why many take their lives

i ve spent much on psychotherapy and am a qualified hypnotherapist myself , tried another person as well........ anything left.........

Dave - I don't understand - you've been on here for well over a year and, even though you are clearly very intelligent, you refuse to act on any of the replies and advice that people give and you keep returning to your entrenched position.   

Have you considered that that's another year of your life that you are wasting - another year of damage to your relationships, another year of wasted energy, another year of your children's life that you are wasting, another year of all your friends life that you are wasting.

You know very well that you are not going to recover any of your lost money and you're not going to overturn any judgements against you.

So what are you trying to achieve?

You have only really suffered a financial setback - it's just money - and you can live on less and still have a fulfilling life.    You're a clever guy - in all the years you've wasted trying to turn back time, you could have retrained and found a way to make that money back many times over.

I've had a major medical problem - life changing - there's nothing I can do about that but gather together what resources I have, my friends, my family and try to make the best of it.     I possibly could have sued the doctors for negligence that put me in this position but it would take years, cost me all my time, energy and financial resources and there would be no guarantee of success.    

My life will never be the bed of roses that I planned for but you play the hand you're dealt.    

Why do you still want to destroy your own life and all those around you?     Do you have any respect for all the people around you?     Have you considered their feelings and wishes?

You have your freedom to do literally anything you want - you can decide to move on and rebuild your life and re-engage with all the people around you - if you really want to.