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Regrets obsession

DaveAsperg

Yes I have been very successful but now seem obsessed by all the opportunities I missed mainly because I was so focussed on routines and academia and my job. So I realise I doing this I missed out taking my children to professionals football matches and national rugby matches even though we were often in Twickenham staying at my mother in laws house when the World Cup was on etc.

I know I have a lot left , but I’m stuck on all the negatives. I feel I’ve failed my wife and children.

maybe this negative focus is why autistic people have such a high suicide rate.

but I do like the joke therapy!

what do others feel about focussing on the negative and maybe having been too confident that you were doing well before.......

Any actions that have been helpful? I wonder about pursuing my effort to develop an alternative suicide prevention service as the current medical model is inappropriate for many people.

i am impressed with Russell Brand’s insight into the distress of suicide over Caroline Flack whose death was probably caused by the media and the Crown Prosecution Service. I am pleased the debate has been opened but know that the IOPC has historically always supported the cps and has never said anything against either the police force or the cps, even when coroners have raised concerns. We shall see....... but I am sure they will not criticise the authorities. They only criticise individuals that the police want to dismiss and waste loads of public money defending inappropriate police actions 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-49955628

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  • in reply to DaveAsperg
    DaveAsperg said:
    No replies. I certainly feel alone and wonder what others make of me as I no longer seem to fit anywhere. Frightening for suicidal thinking 

    ...Please do Calm down, Sir... sometimes this Forum goes through slow stages, and sometimes flurries of replies occur within a few hours. You are NOT the only one to 'post and recieve no replies', so please do not let *that* influence or trouble You!

    ( ...My own excuse is that I am not here everyday, and sometimes I can log in yet must quit very quickly even if I do not want to quit. My devices are old and It is not My Internet. I see this Thread now, and can post, and so I do so... but I cannot always do that, and I am certainly not alone about all of this. )

  • in reply to DaveAsperg

    Hi Dave, I'm sorry I didn't write anything either. I read the top half of the post and identified completely with it, but I didn't identify with or understand how the second part and the link to Carl beech connected with it, so I didn't know what to say, but obviously there is an important connection in your own life. 

    I do get stuck in regrets and rumination about the past. When it's really bad I  have to take explicit action and listen to a therapy recording to get myself out of it.  I listen to Mark tyrrel on YouTube sometimes, he has a great soothing voice and it can take the edge off an anxiety attack. I have to address the obsession and deny it power over me. 

    It works to a degree though its hard work, plus I do a lot of exercise to lift my mood.

  • in reply to DaveAsperg

    I am thinking of you Dave, I don't know what to write. I have been through many of the same things as you, the only difference is I didn't lose a lot of money. 

    For me, what keeps me going is finding new things to explore, learning and trying to educate and inform people about how to make things better.

    I don't think you've failed your wife and children, having Asperger's is no picnic.