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Almost 57 older woman identify as being on autistic spectrum

Ionising

I've suspected for a very long time I am on the autistic spectrum.  I don't have an official diagnosis, nor have asked to be referred.  It just makes sense to me and explainsso much of my life and experience.  I've just felt others experience me as 'weird' all my life.  I have a professional job, a grown child and I am a grandmother.  I don't particularly like labels, but I did do the AT test and scored 32.  Sometimes, particularly at work, I have to do a lot of self talk to try and not be weird.  It's exhausting :)   I work hard at being sociable, at connecting, and listening.  I'm very self aware and don't have any difficulty reading other's clues.  I've realised I am more myself, so to speak, as I've grown older.  Sometimes, however, there is that moment at work (I have to attend a lot of meetings) I wish I could just be able to say I am on the spectrum.  I'm hard of hearing and have no difficulty telling people this, to help explain I don't always pick up.

I believe I have some ways of being that are very highly valued, in the right environment and team, and can contribute a lot.  But gosh I feel so sad when I think of all my childhood and life feeling it's safer being alone than having to 'hide' or 'mask' who I am.  I've only fairly recently my 'hair twirling', which soothes and settles me, is likely related Slight smile

So, hello and questions are .... is it ok to identify without going through referral and diagnosis?  Also, is anyone else here my age and feeling similarly?

  • in reply to Baileyboy
    Baileyboy said:
    they don't always have to have early years evidence

    I can second that. I've been using forums like this for four or five years now, and there's a significant proportion of adults I've spoken to who were diagnosed without "early years" input, either because it wasn't possible for practical reasons or, as in the case of an autistic friend, because of parental resistance to the idea of their adult child being autistic.

    In terms of the diagnosis itself, the only difference it would make is in the identification of early developmental delays, which for a child might distinguish between "classic" autism and Asperger's-like autism. But these aren't necessarily accurate predictors of adult capabilities, and are a moot point once you've passed the age where "early intervention" is possible.

  • in reply to NAS65321

    My private diagnosis was covered by my company's health insurance - if you're working, see if you might be covered.

  • in reply to NAS65321

    Forgot to mention they don't always have to have early years evidence. My cousin was diagnosed without the need for that. I was a complex case, so that's why it helped. Take care and all the best. 

  • in reply to Baileyboy

    Thank you for that, I think I will save my money for now. My mum also has altzhimers and possibly doesn't have much time left . Plus I have not mentioned it to my parents yet so will just have to wait and see. 

  • in reply to NAS65321

    If it helps at all, my Mother was telephoned, as for different reasons I couldnt have her there! I looked thro the links on this site for someone that sounded 'right' for me and then emailed them comprehensively first with all my diagnosis concerns. Having still felt I'd got the right person for me, then asked cost. His costs covered 2 assessments which were 5 hours, a comprehensive Report which he welcomed my suggestions and corrections, a 1.25hour telephone conversation with Mum, and we are now emailing to sort a further 1 hour Feedback session with my final Report. The whole package is £750. I know its a lot, but I had been quoted £850 by a larger company and I wasn't happy with the 'feel' of the communication I got. All the best! 

  • in reply to Baileyboy

    Hi thats very interesting, I am 50 and went to my GP 3 weeks ago to be refered. How much did a private diagnosis cost out of interest? My issue is going to be that my mum is 80 and housebound so she will not be there. I don't want my wife with me as there are some subjects that are to do with 'us'. 

  • in reply to AlwaysIS

    How true! I am a 48yr old woman, on NHS waiting list for 2 years... and ano year to wait, but that's open-ended according to the Dept! I saved up (a lot!) and just had a private diagnosis... with an NHS clinical psychologist in another county who diagnoses autism there. Anyway, I digress... sorry! Yes, I have opened up to health professionals... and wow... the differing responses are phenomenal! From them over-talking you to being extremely patronising, to even talking louder to try to help me process! However, find the right person and its overwhelmingly wonderful - you can't thank them enough! Having a diagnosis is feeling very strange at mo... my AQ was 37 and early years input was needed by my Mother in order to gain diagnosis. Once I accept it, then I think it will be fairly freeing mentally/emotionally... it has already started to help. Being able to put managing/coping strategies into place due to one's triggers and allowing myself the freedom and acceptance to do that, because of a formal diagnosis is helping too. But I do recognise that everyone is different... some may not need that formal route. 

  • Close to your age!   and i can see benefits to officialdom and unofficial diagnosis.

    What i have found is, even when i have disclosed to people i am Autistic.....Its almost seems like it annoys them....most bizarre!

    In my short experience with this all, it appears some people have a very skewed view of the condition and almost no tolerance for it., 

  • in reply to Donalda

    Yes, we sometimes almost get too good at masking, don't we :-(

  • in reply to NAS66220

    I got 44 lol. And I answered honestly.  It seems to be a good indicator. 

  • There are plenty of us undiagnosed 'oldies' about (I am a 50yo guy have wife, always worked but have no kids by choice). Lets face it when were were at school in 70's/80's you had to be very diffrent and have an obvious issue to be looked at. Otherwise you were just considered naughty, thick, or a pain in the ass. I just was geeky, shy, bad a some subjects(great at others), and quiet when really I was masking as hellI . I went to my GP 4 weeks ago and she sent off for a referal, but I am not holding my breath.  I  got 42 on that test, although there are some rubbish questions in there and we are all diffrent

  • in reply to Ionising

    Well, I just scored 34 on that test...

  • At last a woman my age group ! I'm 56 and got a diagnosis not that long ago. Like others I've felt different and lonely a lot of my life. I've been awful at maths all my life, unable to to do even mWorriedental arithmetic but fairly advanced with language and writing. I have sensory issues. I have been able to mask a lot successfully. I think a lot of people I know would dispute my diagnosis. That's why I don't share it much.Worried

  • in reply to Bluemoon

     But ? Do you mean cbt?

    the research shows it is not very effective in autism. It is available on nhs though but long waits 

    friends are on here

  • HI!! I' m 47, self-diagosed- Can't aford BCT suggested by my GP . As an autistic female, i have no relatives, no friends... just my hyperfocus which allows me to work and to afford my net so i can be here in this forum and feel i'm not an ET,  Relaxed

  • in reply to Ionising

    I am very lucky to be developing a career in a field of work I love so I give it 100%. To the point I forget about everything that exists when I’m working.  Believe it’s called hyper focus? (Might be making words up here lol) 

  • in reply to NAS66220

    Hi it's the AQ Test - Autism Spectrum Quotient. ... and easily found online by google (sorry the AT was a typo)

  • in reply to NAS66220

    Thank you so much for your response.  It makes so much sense to me too :)  The part where you said about anticipating what others may say in response to identifying as autistic .... really resonated.  I wonder if I've masked so much I can appear 'neurotypical' and no one will believe me!   Maybe an educational approach is required, because I do think there are assumptions that we cannot have jobs, careers etc. 

  • Ps what's the AT test and where do I find it?