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Almost 57 older woman identify as being on autistic spectrum

Ionising

I've suspected for a very long time I am on the autistic spectrum.  I don't have an official diagnosis, nor have asked to be referred.  It just makes sense to me and explainsso much of my life and experience.  I've just felt others experience me as 'weird' all my life.  I have a professional job, a grown child and I am a grandmother.  I don't particularly like labels, but I did do the AT test and scored 32.  Sometimes, particularly at work, I have to do a lot of self talk to try and not be weird.  It's exhausting :)   I work hard at being sociable, at connecting, and listening.  I'm very self aware and don't have any difficulty reading other's clues.  I've realised I am more myself, so to speak, as I've grown older.  Sometimes, however, there is that moment at work (I have to attend a lot of meetings) I wish I could just be able to say I am on the spectrum.  I'm hard of hearing and have no difficulty telling people this, to help explain I don't always pick up.

I believe I have some ways of being that are very highly valued, in the right environment and team, and can contribute a lot.  But gosh I feel so sad when I think of all my childhood and life feeling it's safer being alone than having to 'hide' or 'mask' who I am.  I've only fairly recently my 'hair twirling', which soothes and settles me, is likely related Slight smile

So, hello and questions are .... is it ok to identify without going through referral and diagnosis?  Also, is anyone else here my age and feeling similarly?

Parents

  • Close to your age!   and i can see benefits to officialdom and unofficial diagnosis.

    What i have found is, even when i have disclosed to people i am Autistic.....Its almost seems like it annoys them....most bizarre!

    In my short experience with this all, it appears some people have a very skewed view of the condition and almost no tolerance for it., 

  • in reply to AlwaysIS

    How true! I am a 48yr old woman, on NHS waiting list for 2 years... and ano year to wait, but that's open-ended according to the Dept! I saved up (a lot!) and just had a private diagnosis... with an NHS clinical psychologist in another county who diagnoses autism there. Anyway, I digress... sorry! Yes, I have opened up to health professionals... and wow... the differing responses are phenomenal! From them over-talking you to being extremely patronising, to even talking louder to try to help me process! However, find the right person and its overwhelmingly wonderful - you can't thank them enough! Having a diagnosis is feeling very strange at mo... my AQ was 37 and early years input was needed by my Mother in order to gain diagnosis. Once I accept it, then I think it will be fairly freeing mentally/emotionally... it has already started to help. Being able to put managing/coping strategies into place due to one's triggers and allowing myself the freedom and acceptance to do that, because of a formal diagnosis is helping too. But I do recognise that everyone is different... some may not need that formal route. 

  • in reply to Baileyboy

    Hi thats very interesting, I am 50 and went to my GP 3 weeks ago to be refered. How much did a private diagnosis cost out of interest? My issue is going to be that my mum is 80 and housebound so she will not be there. I don't want my wife with me as there are some subjects that are to do with 'us'. 

Reply Children
  • in reply to Baileyboy
    Baileyboy said:
    they don't always have to have early years evidence

    I can second that. I've been using forums like this for four or five years now, and there's a significant proportion of adults I've spoken to who were diagnosed without "early years" input, either because it wasn't possible for practical reasons or, as in the case of an autistic friend, because of parental resistance to the idea of their adult child being autistic.

    In terms of the diagnosis itself, the only difference it would make is in the identification of early developmental delays, which for a child might distinguish between "classic" autism and Asperger's-like autism. But these aren't necessarily accurate predictors of adult capabilities, and are a moot point once you've passed the age where "early intervention" is possible.

  • in reply to NAS65321

    My private diagnosis was covered by my company's health insurance - if you're working, see if you might be covered.

  • in reply to NAS65321

    Forgot to mention they don't always have to have early years evidence. My cousin was diagnosed without the need for that. I was a complex case, so that's why it helped. Take care and all the best. 

  • in reply to Baileyboy

    Thank you for that, I think I will save my money for now. My mum also has altzhimers and possibly doesn't have much time left . Plus I have not mentioned it to my parents yet so will just have to wait and see. 

  • in reply to NAS65321

    If it helps at all, my Mother was telephoned, as for different reasons I couldnt have her there! I looked thro the links on this site for someone that sounded 'right' for me and then emailed them comprehensively first with all my diagnosis concerns. Having still felt I'd got the right person for me, then asked cost. His costs covered 2 assessments which were 5 hours, a comprehensive Report which he welcomed my suggestions and corrections, a 1.25hour telephone conversation with Mum, and we are now emailing to sort a further 1 hour Feedback session with my final Report. The whole package is £750. I know its a lot, but I had been quoted £850 by a larger company and I wasn't happy with the 'feel' of the communication I got. All the best!