How can i make my aspie husband happy?

Hi. Firstly, I think it's really cool that you're asking people like us about this. 

The added problem with spectrum conditions like ours is that we're all different from each other, so no one reply is guaranteed to help. However, I can suggest a few things based on what I have learnt about myself since my diagnosis.

1 - Other people. Yeah, he probably doesn't like that much. I'm better with people I already know (but too many at once without alcohol is a no no) and there will probably be a select few he's always okay around. These are the ones he doesn't see as threatening. I myself have particular problems around people I find judgmental or overly critical. Bizarrely, I'm okay with some strangers, like a sixth sense, while others I will avoid at all costs.

2 - A lot of us are still children and always will be, in certain ways. If i had a quid for every time I was compared to Harry Enfield's Kevin before I went bald, I'd probably have a good twenty quid or so. Which, hey you know, is quite a lot when you think about it.

3- Don't take anything personally. I didn't use to understand why I just didn't want to do some things at certain times. Now I know it's because I crave solitude. I don't suffer with social withdrawal, I need it! I have to come to learn that even things I enjoy doing have a price to pay. That being recovery time. If he wants to turn in early and lie there with the duvet over his face, he's not cross with you, he's DEcharging. He may have a different technique, or if he doesn't have one yet, I recommend it, it's life changing.

Like I said, some on here will get some of what I've written and some will not get me at all. But if anything I've written helps you and your husband, then I've done my good deed for the day :)

Good luck

Hi. Firstly, I think it's really cool that you're asking people like us about this. 

The added problem with spectrum conditions like ours is that we're all different from each other, so no one reply is guaranteed to help. However, I can suggest a few things based on what I have learnt about myself since my diagnosis.

1 - Other people. Yeah, he probably doesn't like that much. I'm better with people I already know (but too many at once without alcohol is a no no) and there will probably be a select few he's always okay around. These are the ones he doesn't see as threatening. I myself have particular problems around people I find judgmental or overly critical. Bizarrely, I'm okay with some strangers, like a sixth sense, while others I will avoid at all costs.

2 - A lot of us are still children and always will be, in certain ways. If i had a quid for every time I was compared to Harry Enfield's Kevin before I went bald, I'd probably have a good twenty quid or so. Which, hey you know, is quite a lot when you think about it.

3- Don't take anything personally. I didn't use to understand why I just didn't want to do some things at certain times. Now I know it's because I crave solitude. I don't suffer with social withdrawal, I need it! I have to come to learn that even things I enjoy doing have a price to pay. That being recovery time. If he wants to turn in early and lie there with the duvet over his face, he's not cross with you, he's DEcharging. He may have a different technique, or if he doesn't have one yet, I recommend it, it's life changing.

Like I said, some on here will get some of what I've written and some will not get me at all. But if anything I've written helps you and your husband, then I've done my good deed for the day :)

Good luck