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i feel like I cant do anything right

NAS65512

hello! 

i have just turned 20 years old (i dont feel older than 16) and I feel like my life is going down hill, not because of anything or anyone, mainly because of myself. I never seem to do anything even if I really need to. for e.g, call the doctors, go gym, go to bed early, do chores. just normal stuff really, I always seem to do the opposite. so if u told me I wasnt ill I would think I'm ill or if u said I need to go to the hospital I wont. I cant listen even it I tried. 

I just seem to always do the wrong tbing and everytime I do the rigjt thing I always feel like something gets in my way everytime. like I'll fall down the hill fast everytime I stop myself, omething slways hits me back down and I'll fall even more further. I come to tje point that what i'm saying is stuoid but I keep getting the same feeling. I legit feel like I csnt do anytbing.

  • I felt like that constantly when I was around your age. I am in my mid 20s now and find that with a little support from a small group of friends I can do more than I thought before. More practical though is the support I receive from a team that visits me for mental health reasons. They provide support to do tasks and try to build confidence, and even if I take steps back, they encourage me to keep moving in a positive direction. I don't believe you can't change, you can definitely improve your life for the better, I have confidence in you!

  • Hello

    Following on from the couple of responses you have had, you may also  like to contact our Autism Helpline team who can provide you with information and advice . You can contact the team via telephone on 0808 800 4104 (Monday to Thursday 10am to 4pm, Friday 9am to 3pm). Please note that the Helpline is experiencing a high volume of calls and it may take a couple of attempts before you get through to speak to an advisor. Alternatively, should you prefer to send a message, you can do so via their webform:

    https://www.autism.org.uk/services/helplines/main/questions.aspx

    I hope you find this useful...

    Best Wishes

    Lorraine Mod

  • Hi - welcome to the group. 

    I can relate to a lot of what you're saying. I really struggle to get things done, even if they're things I desperately want to do. For example, I love creative writing, but every time I try to do it, I feel like I've placed a demand on myself and I start procrastinating, as I would with anything else. I really struggle with what I'd call 'home admin' (like sorting the post, booking in with the dentist, tidying/cleaning the flat etc.). I also procrastinate over things like going to bed, even if I'm exhausted to the point of falling asleep on the sofa.

    I've tried making to-do lists for myself, but I've had to scale back on this, because even my to-do list became a form of procrastination (I'd spend 2-3 hours writing a comprehensive list of all the things I had to do, then get overwhelmed by the length of the list and feel unable to do any of it, and that list would grow each day). 

    Nowadays, I try to use my calendar for reminders (e.g. if I need to read the electricity metre on a specific date) and write simple to-do lists (I have a notepad split into sections, so I have a list for home tasks, one for health-related stuff, one for hobbies etc.). I don't put everything on my to-do list though - just the really important stuff. I also set phone alarms to remind me to do things sometimes (e.g. if I need to ring the doctor at 8am). Also, if I'm feeling more energetic than usual (which is rare!) I try and get some jobs done (like housework) while I'm in the right mind-set.

    I've certainly not mastered it and there are lots of things I don't get around to doing, but I'm doing my best to work on it. 

  • This is all very familiar ground to me. But if many recent surveys are anything to go by, there are many other people in the World with very similar thoughts.  Perhaps Step 1 is to go looking for the support and friendship of other like-minded people. Not easy I know. I'm over 60 and still haven't really gained such a network. But I note that I've always really preferred the company of older people. I should really have made this step at your age, which is a natural time of transition. Sites like NAS should help. You might find that some sort of constructive self-identification will be possible, before you consider being referred to a specialist for a more formal assessment..