Published on 12, July, 2020
Everyone experiences things differently, of that there is no doubt. I’d like to gain other people’s perspectives, to gain other people’s view on the neurotype which we have in common, Autism. Perhaps through sharing, we can gain insight and help each other, or perhaps it might just be cathartic for people to share, in any case:What does your Autism mean to you?
I’ll start by conveying what my Autism means to me:
My Autism means freedom, from expectations of fitting in with the majority of people. My Autism means that I’ve forgiven myself for being different/odd/weird. I am as I am, as long as I kind and caring towards others to the best of my ability then that is good enough for me. I do not need other people’s approval for the way my brain functions.
My Autism means that I’ve finally found where I belong. My diagnosis has opened up a world of other autistic people who ‘get it’, who I can speak with on the same level. It was of course, a world that was always there, I just didn’t realise that I belonged before.
My Autism means I have a unique insight into how my youngest daughter’s mind works (nearly 3, also Autistic, still pre-verbal). It means that I can read her, translate her non-verbal communication (which too be fair she’s pro at) into verbal communication for those that don’t understand her. My Autism means that I can advocate for her, with ‘inside knowledge’ to family, nursery staff, professionals, etc.
My Autism means that I can advocate for other Autistic people. At support groups for parents of Autistic children; When my Autistic friends are struggling to get to appointments or do other tasks.
My Autism means that I‘ve found a purpose building community within the Autistic population. It led me to start my group for other autistic women in my local area. Because members of any tribe are stronger together as opposed to being dotted around on their own. Through this group I also learn about a lot of resources for both autistic adults and children and I signpost people who I meet, whether it is the lonely autistic adult who needs to find a social group or the parent who doesn’t know what to do to help their child. I’d love to be able to take this whole advocacy thing further actually, to be able to make more of a difference to the access to resources for autistic people but this at present is just an idea.....
Oh good question! I'm don't really know the answer to this if I'm honest though. I've always found myself a complex and confusing person and as I've got older the confusion has grown with me.I was diagnosed at thirteen and I'd always hoped it would make the picture clearer for me but it just confused me more because things were still as challenging as they'd always been.
I think it's amazing that you know so much what your Autism means for you. It sounds as if you have a great relationship with your daughter as well. Obviously you're a great mother.
My Autism for me doesn't really mean anything other than that it can be irritating and tends to cause a lot of problems for me. Though most of those problems are being fixed now. Hopefully sometime in the future I'll find some better meanings for my Autism until then I'll remain confused I guess.
Did you get any support as a teenager as you were diagnosed at 13?
For me, being diagnosed Autistic has been a revelation. I have that missing piece of the jigsaw that I was never quite sure what it was. Thank you! My youngest daughter fascinates me, I like observing her 'autism in it's raw form' as I call it, before being influenced by society.
I guess Autism can have it's irritating points. It makes us a lot for vulnerable for starters, but now I know 'why', it kind of makes it ok. I don't need to beat myself up about it any more.