Published on 12, July, 2020
Everyone experiences things differently, of that there is no doubt. I’d like to gain other people’s perspectives, to gain other people’s view on the neurotype which we have in common, Autism. Perhaps through sharing, we can gain insight and help each other, or perhaps it might just be cathartic for people to share, in any case:What does your Autism mean to you?
I’ll start by conveying what my Autism means to me:
My Autism means freedom, from expectations of fitting in with the majority of people. My Autism means that I’ve forgiven myself for being different/odd/weird. I am as I am, as long as I kind and caring towards others to the best of my ability then that is good enough for me. I do not need other people’s approval for the way my brain functions.
My Autism means that I’ve finally found where I belong. My diagnosis has opened up a world of other autistic people who ‘get it’, who I can speak with on the same level. It was of course, a world that was always there, I just didn’t realise that I belonged before.
My Autism means I have a unique insight into how my youngest daughter’s mind works (nearly 3, also Autistic, still pre-verbal). It means that I can read her, translate her non-verbal communication (which too be fair she’s pro at) into verbal communication for those that don’t understand her. My Autism means that I can advocate for her, with ‘inside knowledge’ to family, nursery staff, professionals, etc.
My Autism means that I can advocate for other Autistic people. At support groups for parents of Autistic children; When my Autistic friends are struggling to get to appointments or do other tasks.
My Autism means that I‘ve found a purpose building community within the Autistic population. It led me to start my group for other autistic women in my local area. Because members of any tribe are stronger together as opposed to being dotted around on their own. Through this group I also learn about a lot of resources for both autistic adults and children and I signpost people who I meet, whether it is the lonely autistic adult who needs to find a social group or the parent who doesn’t know what to do to help their child. I’d love to be able to take this whole advocacy thing further actually, to be able to make more of a difference to the access to resources for autistic people but this at present is just an idea.....
Its late and i'm flat on my back so i'll just string a succession of words together.Isolation, Intelligence, Uniqueness, sadness, suffering, Stridency, sense of fairness,independence of thought, LONGING, horrific self criticism and overly critical of other people, empathy but not reciprocity. Kindness, sweetnessSome of that might be depression rather than autism.
Its mixed!
It sure is. I think i'd rather be an NT because i think i would be happier I'm not bothered about being cerebral or being a unique thinker. I am also nervous and vulnerable with it all. Presumably that is sensory? My autism and my life experiences with it have left me socially isolated and afraid of interactions with others. There's one lady i like on Okcupid at the moment so if that goes well maybe i'll cheer up a bit? I've got NT friends who just stay in with their partner all the time and shut the world out. Also my secluded thoughts on the world and what is going on have left me angry that the world does not see things as i do. If i had more of a herd instinct inside me then i'd feel less like that.
I don't socialise at the moment either. I was referring to my past above. Stuff that happened to me years ago (i'm in my late 30's)
I see exactly(i believe) as you do.....On every point! except i have no NT friends and i doubt i'll enjoy having any Autistic friends. but who knows what will pan out!
There's a lot to be said for dreams. I've always been a daydreamer.
Hello Malojian. Nice to meet you and everyone here. Please don`t be offended, but be realistic! We have to be, don`t we? .
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What do i actually want? Some some of internally constructed fantasia probably. A utopia created in my own mind. Nothing approaching reality that's for sure.
And so, what do we all actually want? Just say it. I dare you all!
She wanted to see other people as well as me. I got stuck with her because all the nicer ladies in that social group paired off with all my mates. The ASD guy is never the alpha in the group.
I wouldn’t cut myself off from people per se as I have children that need looking after and I’m quite a sociable person. But I’m definitely better single. It seems like you had a bad experience with the person that you were with for a bit?
I often think that i am better off on my own. I guess that's why i decided to cut myself off. It's all SUCH hard work. The person that i was with for a bit. Well i don't have a politically correct way of describing them. Sexually free would be the closest description i think.
That’s a shame. Be careful though, one thing that I’ve learned the hard way is that those of us on the spectrum are far more vulnerable to being taken advantage of due to our ‘differences’ in being able to read other people’s intentions. I’m just 39 and in the process of splitting up with my husband and I fully intend to stay single afterwards because I am just too mind blind to be a reliable judge of character. I’m safer being on my own.
It's alright. I can't meet anyone in real life until i've sorted myself out a bit to be honest. I'm 38 soon and still waiting for my first long term relationship. I've only had short term flings so far,
Aw! I’m sorry to hear that!