Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi. I'm new and I'm looking for some opinions and advice from some other people like myself.
I'm 22 years old and I've been completely reliant on everyone my entire life. I cannot step outside the house alone, make phone calls to people I don't know and pretty much any social situation, involves me getting close to having a breakdown.
In the last few weeks, I have started having intensive therapy to help me with my anxiety that has ruled my life.
For as long as I can remember (I was diagnosed at 12 and have been under therapy for years), I have been taught safety behaviours. Things such as, planning before a situation, rehearsing what to do or say, having someone with me for support and now, I've been told that these aren't good for me. I've been told to push through the anxiety and deal with it without my safety behaviours, because apparently, this will reduce my anxiety overall, naturally.
When I was 12, it was confirmed by a highly thought of psychiatrist that having Asperger's, lead to the fight or flight section of my brain, to basically overwork itself, causing me to feel fear at even the smallest of things.
The thought of pushing myself through anxiety, scares the hell out of me. I'm terrified from the moment I wake up, so making myself do things in order to face the anxiety and deal with it, makes me physically shake.
Is my therapist right? Should I force myself through the anxiety, or will it make me worse?
Yeah, be wary of CBT... it seems that the newer approach is ACT (Acceptance & Commitment Therapy): https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acceptance_and_commitment_therapy
ACT is developed within a pragmatic philosophy called functional contextualism. ACT is based on relational frame theory (RFT), a comprehensive theory of language and cognition that is an offshoot of behavior analysis. Both ACT and RFT are based on B. F. Skinner's philosophy of Radical Behaviorism.
ACT differs from traditional cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) in that rather than trying to teach people to better control their thoughts, feelings, sensations, memories and other private events, ACT teaches them to "just notice," accept, and embrace their private events, especially previously unwanted ones. ACT helps the individual get in contact with a transcendent sense of self known as "self-as-context"—the you who is always there observing and experiencing and yet distinct from one's thoughts, feelings, sensations, and memories. ACT aims to help the individual clarify their personal values and to take action on them, bringing more vitality and meaning to their life in the process, increasing their psychological flexibility.
I think ACT 'fits' the neuro-atypical experience better than CBT as it allows for the idea that 'stuff IS hard' and rather than trying to 'push through' (like a neuro-typical could/would/should) it says "Yeah, I'm having a hard time and this is giving me anxiety - and that's OK - but I can experience this without it shutting me down AND I don't have to 'get over it', this is who I am, this is and (probably) always will be something I find hard..."