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How do neurologically typical people feel & experience life?

I'm done with Christmas Cards
over 4 years ago

I know this is pretty futile musing, although maybe some of the more neurologically typical people on here can help! (I shy away from using the term "NT's" because it feels a bit "them and us" to me).

I've found myself wondering, as I'm accepting, exploring and deepening my understanding of my own atypicalness & ASD diagnosis, about what it's like for others.

For every "aha!" moment I have about e.g. noisy restaurants, eye contact, lack of capability / impetus to maintain friendships, exhaustion in social situations, there is a corresponding "What's it like for others?" moment.

So for example, for typical people:

  • How does the world *sound*? Is it muted, filtered by attention etc?
  • How does eye contact *feel* when experienced as something that you *want* to do? Even with strangers?
  • What's it like to be drawn to want to be with a group of other people?
  • What's it like to enjoy a day out with friends, and not be exhausted (except in a tired & content kind of way)?
  • What's it like to be thrilled at the prospect of going out every single evening for days in a row?
  • What's it like to want to ask other people where they went on holiday, and be interested in what they tell you about where they went and what they saw?
  • What's it like to say the opposite of what you mean, because for e.g. you're being polite, and yet know that everyone knows what you actually mean?
  • What's it like to wish that you had more time for travel, seeing family members, more face to face meetings etc?
Parents
  • over 4 years ago

    I always wonder about the eye contact one.

    To me, eye contact is at worst painful. Physically painful. Soul searchingly probingly painful. At best, it's "ooh wow go me I'm making eye contact", which is kinda distracting from the conversation.

    So to NTs, does it feel any different than looking at a chair for example?

  • over 4 years ago in reply to Bagpuss7

    Actually since I saw your comment, I was thinking about the eye contact thing, because as much as I can see, that really doesn't make sense other than NT people. I wanted to explain why we do it, beside the "it just feels right" thing what's anything but helpful.

    So what I realized about the eye contact: as I wrote before, I think a lot of NT people don't really pay attention to it and body language in general unless they find it strange.

    I think eye contact became paired to positive traits in a conversation. Like when you look someone's eyes when they talk, it reassures them that you're listening. When you can "stand someone's stare", they usually say that you're a brave person. While looking away in a conversation has been associated with "lying".

    I know that autistic people are usually listening even when they do something else, but for some reason NT people make it about the "respect" you give to someone if you stop whatever you're doing and you just pay attention to the person speaking to you. And to make it clear that you pay your whole attention to someone, you're making eye contact.

    And there's the "bonding" part, what  talks about.

    I hope I helped a little.

Reply
  • over 4 years ago in reply to Bagpuss7

    Actually since I saw your comment, I was thinking about the eye contact thing, because as much as I can see, that really doesn't make sense other than NT people. I wanted to explain why we do it, beside the "it just feels right" thing what's anything but helpful.

    So what I realized about the eye contact: as I wrote before, I think a lot of NT people don't really pay attention to it and body language in general unless they find it strange.

    I think eye contact became paired to positive traits in a conversation. Like when you look someone's eyes when they talk, it reassures them that you're listening. When you can "stand someone's stare", they usually say that you're a brave person. While looking away in a conversation has been associated with "lying".

    I know that autistic people are usually listening even when they do something else, but for some reason NT people make it about the "respect" you give to someone if you stop whatever you're doing and you just pay attention to the person speaking to you. And to make it clear that you pay your whole attention to someone, you're making eye contact.

    And there's the "bonding" part, what  talks about.

    I hope I helped a little.

Children
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