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How do neurologically typical people feel & experience life?

I'm done with Christmas Cards
over 4 years ago

I know this is pretty futile musing, although maybe some of the more neurologically typical people on here can help! (I shy away from using the term "NT's" because it feels a bit "them and us" to me).

I've found myself wondering, as I'm accepting, exploring and deepening my understanding of my own atypicalness & ASD diagnosis, about what it's like for others.

For every "aha!" moment I have about e.g. noisy restaurants, eye contact, lack of capability / impetus to maintain friendships, exhaustion in social situations, there is a corresponding "What's it like for others?" moment.

So for example, for typical people:

  • How does the world *sound*? Is it muted, filtered by attention etc?
  • How does eye contact *feel* when experienced as something that you *want* to do? Even with strangers?
  • What's it like to be drawn to want to be with a group of other people?
  • What's it like to enjoy a day out with friends, and not be exhausted (except in a tired & content kind of way)?
  • What's it like to be thrilled at the prospect of going out every single evening for days in a row?
  • What's it like to want to ask other people where they went on holiday, and be interested in what they tell you about where they went and what they saw?
  • What's it like to say the opposite of what you mean, because for e.g. you're being polite, and yet know that everyone knows what you actually mean?
  • What's it like to wish that you had more time for travel, seeing family members, more face to face meetings etc?
Parents
  • over 4 years ago

    I always wonder about the eye contact one.

    To me, eye contact is at worst painful. Physically painful. Soul searchingly probingly painful. At best, it's "ooh wow go me I'm making eye contact", which is kinda distracting from the conversation.

    So to NTs, does it feel any different than looking at a chair for example?

  • over 4 years ago in reply to Bagpuss7

    I think it does feel different, and this is what got me interested.

    For me, it feels different in a negative way (I'd rather not be doing this) but for typical people eye contact is associated with a release of oxytocin.

    Oxytocin combats the stress hormone cortisol, and promotes feelings of wellbeing, bonding, and fuzzy/cozy love feelings. I certainly don't get that from eye contact, but I do get it, for the same chemical reasons as far as I understand, from a cuddle with a romantic partner who cares for me.

    So I wondered if some people get the "warm fuzzy everything is OK / loved-up" feeling from eye contact. I asked a counsellor once and she said that maybe some people do (I didn't press her on whether or not she did and hence knew for sure).

    It strikes me that it would be quite amazing and life-affirming to have a little dose of human love from every social interaction, so that these interactions become something that you seek rather than avoid.

    That's where I was driving with this question at least, to see if anyone came along and said "yes, it makes me feel like that".

Reply
  • over 4 years ago in reply to Bagpuss7

    I think it does feel different, and this is what got me interested.

    For me, it feels different in a negative way (I'd rather not be doing this) but for typical people eye contact is associated with a release of oxytocin.

    Oxytocin combats the stress hormone cortisol, and promotes feelings of wellbeing, bonding, and fuzzy/cozy love feelings. I certainly don't get that from eye contact, but I do get it, for the same chemical reasons as far as I understand, from a cuddle with a romantic partner who cares for me.

    So I wondered if some people get the "warm fuzzy everything is OK / loved-up" feeling from eye contact. I asked a counsellor once and she said that maybe some people do (I didn't press her on whether or not she did and hence knew for sure).

    It strikes me that it would be quite amazing and life-affirming to have a little dose of human love from every social interaction, so that these interactions become something that you seek rather than avoid.

    That's where I was driving with this question at least, to see if anyone came along and said "yes, it makes me feel like that".

Children
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