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How do neurologically typical people feel & experience life?

I'm done with Christmas Cards
over 4 years ago

I know this is pretty futile musing, although maybe some of the more neurologically typical people on here can help! (I shy away from using the term "NT's" because it feels a bit "them and us" to me).

I've found myself wondering, as I'm accepting, exploring and deepening my understanding of my own atypicalness & ASD diagnosis, about what it's like for others.

For every "aha!" moment I have about e.g. noisy restaurants, eye contact, lack of capability / impetus to maintain friendships, exhaustion in social situations, there is a corresponding "What's it like for others?" moment.

So for example, for typical people:

  • How does the world *sound*? Is it muted, filtered by attention etc?
  • How does eye contact *feel* when experienced as something that you *want* to do? Even with strangers?
  • What's it like to be drawn to want to be with a group of other people?
  • What's it like to enjoy a day out with friends, and not be exhausted (except in a tired & content kind of way)?
  • What's it like to be thrilled at the prospect of going out every single evening for days in a row?
  • What's it like to want to ask other people where they went on holiday, and be interested in what they tell you about where they went and what they saw?
  • What's it like to say the opposite of what you mean, because for e.g. you're being polite, and yet know that everyone knows what you actually mean?
  • What's it like to wish that you had more time for travel, seeing family members, more face to face meetings etc?
Parents
  • over 4 years ago

    What's it like not to constantly be upsetting people you care about and have no idea:

     a) what you did that upset them

     b) why they're so upset about it (even some considerable time later)

     c) why your rational explanation of why they shouldn't be upset in the first place just makes things worse

     d) how to 'fix' it

     e) how to stop it happening again

    Feeling very 'disabled by autism' today... Disappointed

  • over 4 years ago in reply to Original Prankster

    You aren't responsible for other people's feelings; they are. If someone decided to be upset and thinks they can trace that choice to something that you did or didn't do or say, and they want you to act differently in future, they owe you at least a clear explanation of what happened and how you can work together to help things be better in future.

    Unfortunately, not everyone takes responsibility for their feelings, as it is easier to blame someone else. Some people don't even believe that they *should* be responsible for their own feelings & that everyone else has a duty to "make" them happy.

    I can relate to having a blind spot or two that means I'm clueless about what I did. Hope you feel better soon.

  • over 4 years ago in reply to I'm done with Christmas Cards

    Thanks IdWCC... I think this is the biggest NT/NA 'problem' - when you try to talk about the fact that maybe they're upset because they've taken your actions/words and interpreted them in a way that was not intended and/or they have 'baggage' that means this is their issue, NTs get really cross and unreasonable and accuse you of 'using your autism as an excuse'...

    My psychologist basically said the same as you - other people's reactions to things aren't necessarily my fault/responsibility and people need to 'own' their own behaviour.

    I sometimes really, REALLY wish everyone was 'a bit autistic'... life would be so much easier

Reply
  • over 4 years ago in reply to I'm done with Christmas Cards

    Thanks IdWCC... I think this is the biggest NT/NA 'problem' - when you try to talk about the fact that maybe they're upset because they've taken your actions/words and interpreted them in a way that was not intended and/or they have 'baggage' that means this is their issue, NTs get really cross and unreasonable and accuse you of 'using your autism as an excuse'...

    My psychologist basically said the same as you - other people's reactions to things aren't necessarily my fault/responsibility and people need to 'own' their own behaviour.

    I sometimes really, REALLY wish everyone was 'a bit autistic'... life would be so much easier

Children
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