Feeling overwhelmed if not having Alone time

Been diagnosed with aspergers for about year and a half now. I'm 33. After days of seeing new people or being around people is kinda stressful and after a while i need a bit of me time... bit of winding down to relax. Music on and just listen for hours.. Feels good to just be me with music on. I can make myself feel grounded then and process things in my time.

The thing that bothers me is, if i don't have me time and leave it, i tend to get more and more moody and not wanna go out or do anything. Is this normal to feel like this? The less me time i have, i tend to feel more numb with emotions. Seems kind of selfish when reading it back. I don't like having to wind down to feel some sort of normal. 

Anyone else like this.

  • I need alone time. Like you I tried sociaslising. I fail constantly. I'm trying to find myself. I listen to old radio stories or 40s music but my husband hates it so asks me to switch it off. If I retreat to a room to read he follows me to talk or watch TV. He gets moody if I say I need alone time. It's hard. I've taken to having a bath just so I can read in peace lol

  • My partner can get a bit annoyed if I play the same tracks over and over too much, so I have to remember to keep it a bit varied unless I put headphones on.

  • All my family and close friends know about my Aspergers. Even tho i don't like talking about it they understand. My wife is a massive help. Never pushing me always trying to help and understanding with routines.  

  • Music helps me a lot, My wife is understanding in this. I do feel bad. Music is the only thing i like loud when i do it. i listen and daydream off into my own world

  • Just like me. One moment i can be the life of the party with family and friends and sometime later im so quiet and feel low.

  • "Me alone time" is something I find essential for processing stuff and recharging after a lot of interactions with other people. It kind of allows me to reset myself. I find music really helpful as part of this too. 

  • Hey :) 

    Lots of people need some time alone to themselves, either to recharge, process something, think about an important decision etc. It's not selfish to take time for yourself. But be sensitive to when you do so - i.e. if you only do it specifically when a friend wants to hang out, that can come across as quite rude (even if you don't mean it). Explaining that you need some time to recharge, perhaps even disclosing your autism to them if you're close enough?x

    Much love <3

  • Yeah, definitely! I'm not yet diagnosed but it's looking very likely and I need to have 'no people time' after spending time with friends and become emotional and irritable after being social for too long. At 23 years old this isn't something that should happen but sadly it is Shrug I think it can have a really negative effect on friendships as it means that one minute I can be happy and hyper but then the next minute I can just become quiet, irritated and closed off from everyone Pensive I can last longer in one on one social situations though as I guess it's easier and less stimulation...

  • Thanks everyone. It's nice just relaxing and having music on. Recharge the batteries as they say 

  • I need to get into my bed with the curtains closed, put on my sleep ones and listen to a YouTube ASMR video or some music :) 

  • I need to get into my bed with the curtains closed, put on my sleep ones and listen to a YouTube ASMR video or some music :) 

  • yeah I'm similar. most says after work I fall asleep on the sofa.

    If i do venture out/see people socially then I almost always have to have a nap afterwards.

  • Yes! and my life is better now that I (mostly) am alone as much as I need to be.

    I tried to change myself in the past and be more outgoing and sociable because that's how I thought I should be, when in reality it didn't work for me at all and it kind of felt like I lost myself for a long time. Like you said about being 'numb with emotions', along with not being able to not wear a mask, so it got to the point where I didn't even feel like myself on my own.

    So now I try to just follow what feels right for me. In fact I probs spend too much time on my own these days, which is unhealthy in a different way, but it's better than the other way round (I've heard there's a thing called 'balance' but I'm not very good at it).

    It's not selfish to feel like you need some alone time, and it's not selfish to be alone. That's just how you are and what you need. I'd call it self-preservation