Published on 12, July, 2020
... she basically said a lot of the symptoms I mentioned are similar to what others experience and I got the sense that she didn't believe that I actually have autism. I tried my best to express everything I go through, though I know I missed a lot out due anxiety and, well, autism - I find it very hard to explain things and yet in order to get help that's what I have to do and the whole thing is very stressful and frustrating. I've also only just realised recently that this is what I have and haven't got to a point where I understand it all and can articulate it yet.
The whole thing made me feel under the spotlight and I felt like I was desperately trying to prove that This is what I experience and This is where I need to be referred to please. It's like I've already questioned myself enough as to whether I actually have this or whether I'm just being melodramatic without feeling more under scrutiny from a doctor too. But then maybe I'm overreacting and it's just that she simply didn't confirm that I'm autistic like I'd wanted, rather than her thinking 'there's no way you're autistic'.
Idk if this makes that much sense at this point. Does anyone else feel like other ppl don't believe/understand them, even professionals? It's basically why I haven't told my family yet because I expect they'll be somehow dismissive.
She also said that the waiting list for an assessment is over a year, which is fine and all, what I expected, but the thing is I need to be applying for some benefits soon because I have no income. Do I have to wait until I'm definitely in some kind of service before I can apply for benefits? Presumably I will need to prove that I'm sick, but if I'm not currently getting any help, how can I do that? I guess I could have a panic attack in front of whoever it is that decides whether you get benefits or not.
I have an assessment in 6 months for some kind of general therapy so that's a little sooner at least.
Any advice/thoughts would be greatly appreciated because I'm feeling a little on my own with this right now.
I'm in a similar situation as I've had two different doctors in two different surgeries say that they would refer me but it never happened. However, since losing my job and receiving fit notes from my new doctor I went to the job centre and got put on a three week course that supports people with autism and suspected autism and the guy who runs it said he would be very surprised if I don't have it with all of the traits that I show so he is going to refer me directly to speed up the process as I've been waiting for about a year to actually get referred through doctors...
Wow that's pretty shitty that they never referred you when they said they would. At least you've met this person now though who will actually do it. I hope it doesn't take too much longer for you to see someone.