How to socialise?

What support does the perinatal MH team offer? Do you have a CPN? Groups to attend? Medication to help with anxiety?

I'm under the perinatal mental health team but i don't seem to be getting much from it

You're welcome! I've recommended that book to a few people and they've all said the same as me, that once you see it written down in black and white, it's actually all so obvious! Now 'why' did no one teach me all of that years ago?!

I'm really sorry to hear that your anxiety has got so bad. Are you getting any help with that from your GP or anyone? 

 call up a friend or your Mom to maybe come visit you .  ....

That sounds like my idea of heaven to be honest, but my anxiety has gotten so bad I can't bring myself to get out of the front door. I used to be an avid walker prior to my son arriving but now I've given up alcohol my anxiety has become so bad I just feel trapped in here and can't seem to win the battle against my own head to let me go out! :(

Thankyou for your responses though!

Since I stopped drinking alcohol and had my baby I've become actually petrified of going outside alone with him. Proir to his arrival I used to love walking and would go on massive trecks every weekend! I really miss it, and although I often think about just putting him in his pram and going I just get an overwhelming sense of panic and cant bring myself to do it! I also used to draw but it is difficult finding the time to do it with a 10 month old keeping me on my toes. I'm sorry to hear your anxiety is bad at the moment too, it is nice to know we're not alone though! :)

Brilliant, I will have a look! I do love a good book! Thankyou very much :)

I've been under the mental health system for 18 years now and besides my ASD diagnosis I don't appear to be getting anywhere with it. I'm currently under the perinatal mental health team. I think its difficult finding somebody that understands ASD, borderline personality disorder and cptsd all together and how they have a knock on effect with each other which is why all the standard courses of therapy such as CBT don't really help.

In terms of diet and clothing thats something I've never really thought about ! I eat pretty healthily and don't really have any sensory issues as far as material goes (although I can't stand touching fabric when I have wet hands, eurgh!). Thankyou for your response, it is deffinately something to think about! :)

That sounds like a good idea, I will deffinately look into it! I'm just terrified at the idea of a group environement but its deffinately worth a scout around to perhaps find a smaller group. Thankyou for your response!

I had tried several including Sertraline (gave me terrible migranes), fluoxetine (didn't work) and venlafaxine (which made me very sick so I had to stop taking it because I don't have time to be sick while I have a baby!).  I discussed with a psychiatrist alternative medications but everything she suggested had sedative effects which again I don't have time for with a baby. I have disregarded the idea of taking medications altogether now especially as it is something I wouldn't like to become dependant on. I wouldn't mind trying anti-anxiety medications but its just a struggle getting anybody to agree to prescribe them. Thankyou for your input anyways! :)

I agree with Aidie, getting out in nature is great, especially with a litlun. I take my youngest daughter (also Autistic) to the Nature Reserve at least once a week, sometimes we go to a tots group and sometimes we just go for a wander, charting previously unseen territory Local woods are also a fabulous place to take young ones for a stroll, even in a pushchair they can enjoy the fresh air and looking up through the trees while you walk, my youngest has had many a woodland nap! Getting out in the country side and fresh air should make you feel more energised too!

alcohol is the worst thing - avoid it at all cost.  

try to get into nature i mean forests, beaches, mountains, parks, lakes. Use google  satellite view to locate forests nearby especially small ones, look at them in street view to locate tracks into them and then visit them. simply walk into them. U wont regret it.

Take your son with you in a baby carrier it will be good for him as well.  let ur OH know where u have gone. Visit random barely known forests the harder the access the better.

once in the forest sit down ( on a plastic bag if it is wet  ) and look up through the tree canopy. Listen to the wind in the branches listen to the birds, kneel down and smell the moss and soil. Feel and smell the grass, flowers, twigs, cones, bark, ever detail u can. Sit there and eat a sandwich slowly as if a fox is watching you, because there probably is, if it is tuna :)

visit nature once a week try some small hikes. just u and ur son.

u will gradually change because  nature is full of positive inherent ancient human triggers and you are a human.

give it a go.

U wont regret it.

I am no expert but I have experienced being stuck inside the house for month going crazy, I found just going out for a walk calmed me it's not much but its something, that's all I can say really as my anxiety at the moment is out of control and I'm struggling also.  focusing on something enough to get lost in it I find cathartic I sit and draw. 

I found that you get put on a low dose of an anti-depression medication using SSRI's BUT somecwork and some don't, depending in the person. I've tried Seroxat (takes ages to come off), Prozac (didn't work at all), Citalopram (worked for a while), Escitalopram (worked but put on weight) and now i am on venlafaxine which so far seems to be working OK. You need to try each tablet for 4 weeks and if you have side effects or they aren't making you better, then ask for something else. They really can increasd your stress/anxiety thresholds?

Hi! I studied Daniel Wendler's book 'improve your social skills' and found it really helpful. It covers everything from how to have a conversation; body language; eye contact; etc and Daniel is diagnosed with Aspergers so it's written in a clear and logical way and I found it very easy to understand. He has a website too which gives a little bit of information about who he is and what he does:

https://www.danielwendler.com/

It sounds a difficult situation. I'm no expert but I suggest visiting your GPs and explain them what your problems are. I've had to do that a bit myself recently.

My basic instinct is to avoid going to appointments as I hate the stress and sitting with strangers waiting but it does pay off eventually, most the time.

If the GP is useless, keep trying appointments with all the different doctors until you find one that's nice and helpful. From my experience it's a bit like a lottery, sometimes they're totally good on mental health, sometimes they're not, and some of them know more about Asperger's, others may be good on mental health but ignorant on Asperger's, some may be good at everything. So try the different ones, if you have to.

The GP should be able to pass you on to counselling or psychological therapy, which might help. Or refer you to other services which might offer support.

On a personal level I've struggled with some of the same issues as you - relying on alcohol, really bad anxiety. I know for me eating a gluten free and dairy free diet helps to reduce the anxiety level, and that eating very low amounts of sugar and salt helps too. This is all just common sense really. The modern diet is too high in sugar, salt and processed food and a lot of people are gluten and dairy intolerant. no one really knows why but it's a fact. But that is maybe just a way of making symptoms less severe. I also find wearing only natural clothes - 100% cotton and wool is good for me. When I wear stuff like polyester and acrylic it makes me sweaty and get rashes and feel worse physically, which has a knock on effect on the mind too. I know for me I still need professional support, even with adapting my diet and clothes, I'm just writing about them because they might help.

Hi - do you have any hobbies or interests that can be the basis for meeting others?    There's a website called Meetup.com where other people arrange social stuff - it's worth looking on there to see if there's anything interesting in your area.      I go along to lunches, coffee meets, bowling, pub evenings etc.    All you do is join the groups and sign up/wander along to the meetups - the fact these people are motivated enough to arrange meetings means they're normally very welcoming people.    There's no commitment so if you don't like or don't fit one group, try another.

Some of the local ones around here are things like book clubs, pub-quiz teams, cafe-meets, Sunday lunch groups, fitness walking etc. - see what you think.

Hi, thanks for your reply.

Ive asked for anti anxiety medication a few times but they will only prescribe anti depressants or anti psychotic which I've had several bad experiences with in the past. I try to stay away from them now. 

Have you tried any prescribed anti-anxiety medication??