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How to socialise?

Ubiquitously Insane

I've been reluctant to post for a while now but I can't find the answers I'm looking for anywhere else so I'm hoping somebody may be able to suggest something.

A bit of a backstory, I'm a 25yo girl from Cheshire, recently diagnosed ASD. I've had an array of mental health problems since I was very young which I've now realised came hand-in-hand with ASD. I always struggled to socialise and throughout my teenage years used alcohol to help me overcome this, however last year I had to give it up and I found out I was pregnant and now I'm really struggling to adjust to not having that coping mechanism. Because of my 'issues' throughout the years I've never maintained any real friendships and I'm struggling to access any support since my diagnosis as there doesn't seem to be much out there besides groups which are a big no no for me.

It's only starting to bother me as I'm stuck inside pretty much seven days a week with the acception of when I visit my nan, and the longer it's going on for the more shut off from the world I feel. Also, it isn't fair on my 9mo son. This is causing issues between me and my OH too as my meltdowns are becoming more frequent. I'm just at a loss and would appreciate any advice anybody could offer.

Thankyou. 

Parents

  • It sounds a difficult situation. I'm no expert but I suggest visiting your GPs and explain them what your problems are. I've had to do that a bit myself recently.

    My basic instinct is to avoid going to appointments as I hate the stress and sitting with strangers waiting but it does pay off eventually, most the time.

    If the GP is useless, keep trying appointments with all the different doctors until you find one that's nice and helpful. From my experience it's a bit like a lottery, sometimes they're totally good on mental health, sometimes they're not, and some of them know more about Asperger's, others may be good on mental health but ignorant on Asperger's, some may be good at everything. So try the different ones, if you have to.

    The GP should be able to pass you on to counselling or psychological therapy, which might help. Or refer you to other services which might offer support.

    On a personal level I've struggled with some of the same issues as you - relying on alcohol, really bad anxiety. I know for me eating a gluten free and dairy free diet helps to reduce the anxiety level, and that eating very low amounts of sugar and salt helps too. This is all just common sense really. The modern diet is too high in sugar, salt and processed food and a lot of people are gluten and dairy intolerant. no one really knows why but it's a fact. But that is maybe just a way of making symptoms less severe. I also find wearing only natural clothes - 100% cotton and wool is good for me. When I wear stuff like polyester and acrylic it makes me sweaty and get rashes and feel worse physically, which has a knock on effect on the mind too. I know for me I still need professional support, even with adapting my diet and clothes, I'm just writing about them because they might help.

Reply

  • It sounds a difficult situation. I'm no expert but I suggest visiting your GPs and explain them what your problems are. I've had to do that a bit myself recently.

    My basic instinct is to avoid going to appointments as I hate the stress and sitting with strangers waiting but it does pay off eventually, most the time.

    If the GP is useless, keep trying appointments with all the different doctors until you find one that's nice and helpful. From my experience it's a bit like a lottery, sometimes they're totally good on mental health, sometimes they're not, and some of them know more about Asperger's, others may be good on mental health but ignorant on Asperger's, some may be good at everything. So try the different ones, if you have to.

    The GP should be able to pass you on to counselling or psychological therapy, which might help. Or refer you to other services which might offer support.

    On a personal level I've struggled with some of the same issues as you - relying on alcohol, really bad anxiety. I know for me eating a gluten free and dairy free diet helps to reduce the anxiety level, and that eating very low amounts of sugar and salt helps too. This is all just common sense really. The modern diet is too high in sugar, salt and processed food and a lot of people are gluten and dairy intolerant. no one really knows why but it's a fact. But that is maybe just a way of making symptoms less severe. I also find wearing only natural clothes - 100% cotton and wool is good for me. When I wear stuff like polyester and acrylic it makes me sweaty and get rashes and feel worse physically, which has a knock on effect on the mind too. I know for me I still need professional support, even with adapting my diet and clothes, I'm just writing about them because they might help.

Children
  • in reply to Roswell

    I've been under the mental health system for 18 years now and besides my ASD diagnosis I don't appear to be getting anywhere with it. I'm currently under the perinatal mental health team. I think its difficult finding somebody that understands ASD, borderline personality disorder and cptsd all together and how they have a knock on effect with each other which is why all the standard courses of therapy such as CBT don't really help.

    In terms of diet and clothing thats something I've never really thought about ! I eat pretty healthily and don't really have any sensory issues as far as material goes (although I can't stand touching fabric when I have wet hands, eurgh!). Thankyou for your response, it is deffinately something to think about! :)