Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi,
Got diagnosed with Aspergers in April this year, and while it has been helpful to a degree honestly it's almost raised more questions than it's answered as looking into it I've just found a huge list of possible effects it could have to the point that even explaining it to people is difficult besides just dumbing it down to "to literal don't read people". One of the major issues I'm finding currently is in work, I work full time in an annoyingly open-plan office, and most of the time I can cope and just focus on work, but sometimes minor things just seem to either massively stress me out or cause a complete breakdown (honestly not even sure what I'd call it), yesterday for example I had to change 2 passwords, ended up putting the wrong 1 in to often and thus started 3 hours of trying to sort it out as our companies system for it is ridiculously convoluted, and by the end of it was I so stressed out and tense I couldn't calm down and ended up having to go and work from home, which tends to sort me out fairly quickly.
So to the question, is this actually anything to do with Aspergers or is it just entirely separate not coping with stresses well? and if it is related is the best way to sort it actually any different to other people? The person who did the assessment made a point of some things are other people just need to learn how to deal with people with Aspergers, but there is some stuff you need to work on, however I've been finding it very hard to even confirm what is definitely part of it and what could just be 1 of the other things that can come with it. It's made worse as well as I live with a friend who's advice is always "you just need to grow up and deal with stress like everybody else does it's nothing to do with Aspergers", which is mainly her view as her boyfriend has Aspergers as well and doesn't have this as an issue, so at this point I'm just not sure if she's right and is just being harsh about it, or if she's just wrongly working on a basis of "every single aspie is exactly the same so as my boyfriend isn't like that you shouldn't be either as he's my template for aspies"
Thanks in advance and feel free to say she is right and I just need to deal with it, as honestly even know for sure that's it would help, I just really don't know right now as afterwards I always know it's a stupid thing (I mean having a breakdown from locking yourself out of a computer at work is stupid), but it still ends up happening every few months and if I try to go into work the next day I end up feeling crap again, today I tried to go into work and ended up having to come and work from home again as I couldn't cope, but tomorrow I know I'll almost certainly be fine.
Hey dude. If it makes you feel any better, I've had breakdowns over similar things, as well as much more minor things! At work the other week, I had a real "Autistic moment" when someone had changed one of my computer monitors. I was NOT HAPPY. I got in touch with IT and demanded my old one be brought back. I must've looked like such a weirdo to lose my *** over something so minor!
Also, this girl obviously doesn't understand that Autistic people cope with things differently and that all Autistic people are different. It's called a spectrum for a reason! We're all unique with how we function. Functioning in this stupid world is hard and we're not wired to match what's considered the 'norm' so yeah no wonder we're stressed!
So don't feel bad about reacting the way you did. I do it and I'm sure everyone on this forum has their own similar story!
Thanks, makes me feel a bit better, main issue I'm having (and that friend is having) is the coping when it happens, today I tried to take a 10min break to calm down 3 times but as soon as I got back to my desk I just started to feel worse again, I've heard some people say they can take a time-out and come back feeling better but it's almost like I'm just associating the area with the feeling to much as I feel fine even just when I'm in the car, hell even out of the building is a big improvement, but going back the next day (like today) just starts a slow descent into feeling crap again even without a trigger this time.
The open plan "hotdesking" office and lack of common sense probably doesn't help though... head of my section seemed confused when I suggested a procedure so everybody is working off the same rules, saying "that's just a waste of time", I mean I know I'm over the top with doing things a set way but even for a neurotypical person it sounds ridiculous to think people should just work in such a cavalier way.