Published on 12, July, 2020
There are so many aspects of autism that you wouldn't know about from reading the diagnostic criteria - which I guess is to be expected because those criteria try to focus on the core or roots of autism whilst our lives are more about the shape of the whole plant and its foliage.
Watching this video for instance made me wonder if my autism lies behind the fact that when out walking with other people, I'm the one who stops to pick up screws from the gutter in case they get into people's tyres. No-one else seems to notice them. I do notice, and sometimes get quite annoyed about the carelessness that leads to the screw being there in the first place!
Then I start to wonder.......I thought that my visual perception was "normal" (obviously, having grown up with it and having no way to compare with anyone else's). But now I know about this feature, and I also know that I have better visual acuity (when optically corrected) than average (we did experiments on it at school and I'm *very* fussy about the prescription in my specs being right) - which again seems to be correlated with autism.
Fascinating............wonder what the world looks like / feels like to "most" people?
It's so nice to read something that I can relate to and know that someone else is experiencing things very much as I do.
For me this relates to a couple of things; the need for things to be correct, to be in order, and also a strive for perfection.
I experience difficulties with flat pack builds. If, for example I send a nail through when nailing the back on, my wife has to stop me scrapping the whole piece of furniture and starting again with a new one. Feelings of being a failure, and it not being as it should be are paramount in my mind.
Years ago when I bought records, I'd take the majority back if there was any warping that created a wobble.
If I see someone walking along and they drop a receipt, I'll think it could be important for returns and chase after them. I'll invariably get a look that says you really didn't need to bother; most people wouldn't have.
It's a dying thing, but I'll stand on buses for ladies to sit down, but again usually realise my judgment was wrong and my action was over the top in the current climate.
The number of injured birds I've tried to save or take to vets, or insects repatriated with the outside world that are indoors.
These are just a flavour, but the list of things where I can't accept it if it's not perfect, or there's some injustice and I feel I need to intervene to make things right is endless. A lot of this is to do with noticing things that others don't.
You are not on your own.
I used to have a tendency to scrap my carpentry screw-ups. I think I'm getting over it now. Now I will persist in trying to fix them. My persistence is frequently too much!
Yes, i notice things others don't, or can't be bothered with. I have a lifelong obsession with mapping, and the detail i go into is usually excruciatingly boring for most other people. And yet, I still get quite a lot of stuff wrong myself. Yes, i intervene in matters i should really walk away from. That sort of stuff can really bugger up your career and social life, and IT HAS. ;-) I can laugh at it now, but I was usually quite embarassed and ashamed at the time. And that embarassment comes back to me all the time, and begins to almost become almost a reaction of PTSD proportions. But lately i have found that it can be stopped, if I just simply tell my mind to STOP..