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Upset At The Checkout

LucyLandRover

Hello,

I had a upsetting incident at the local supermarket last week and would like some advice. I was in the que and the store was busy so I had a lot to contend with when a lady brushed past with her trolley and patted me on the shoulder. I can not stand being  touched by strangers and this made me shudder. I was unaware I was in her way and suggested that excuse me was a polite way of moving me to which her reply was quite abusive and I was accussed of being rude and nasty, both of which are simply not me. I wonder what else I could have done? I would prefer to get along with people but find it hard when confronted with such situations and not knowing how to react.  I have had similar expereinces which involve strangers patting me. Does anyone else experience this?

Thank you.

Nick

  • Hey Nick, 

    you couldn't have done anything differently. Her response was kind of rude and nasty. If you can, maybe explain to the person that you don't like to be touched. Don't bring yourself down over this situation because it's not your fault. 

    PEOPLE ARE JUST NASTY, RUDE AND UNEDUCATED. 

  • in reply to Robert124

    so true  

    Robert124 said:
    when leaving

    ---  there could be a lot of shop lifting recently so they do random "have u got a receipt"  check --- 

  • Supermarkets have a social dynamics all of their own which I struggle to understand.   And my behaviour causes problems.

    A few months ago while shopping,  I shut an open freezer and got a mouthful from the shopper who had left it open.

    Recently I went into a supermarket when I got caught in an unexpected heavy rain shower,  to shelter from the rain and kill time. I didn't buy anything,  but I was also carrying bags from an other shop, 

    when leaving,  I was stopped by a member of staff who demanded I show what was in my bags.  I opened my bags and got out my receipt.  He quickly changed his mind and allowed me to leave.  What i don't understand is why he didn't check if the items in the bag matched my receipt??? 

  • I recognise this, yes - but I also recognise that I'm a complete and utter hypocrite about it!

    The supermarket is a hugely overwhelming sensory experience for me, which makes it hard enough, and like you, people with no apparent awareness of personal space, oblivious to creating an obvious obstruction, or who snarl back when you make a perfectly polite request really annoy me. The trouble is that this annoyance combined with the sensory assault turns me into a bit of scowling, snappy, misanthrope myself! I've got myself in trouble once or twice when my running commentary on what a bunch of jerks people are started to be spoken out loud rather than in my head (I often don't notice when I switch over.) I'm also incredibly good at getting in people's way - usually because I zone-out now and then from the stress, or get stuck in a loop of procrastination if the product I wanted isn't available.

    Comments about my (usual) politeness have ranged from people thinking I'm a bit too formal, through to somewhat stunned appreciation. In either case, it always saddens me a bit that it should be considered remarkable at all.

  • in reply to aidie

    Dear Aidie,

    thank you so much for your kind words and advice. It has made me feel so much better. I will avoid the supermarket on that day and go another day when better people are around. Having Dyspraxia does not help so I do have problems with moving around but even so being polite goes a long way. Thank you! 

  • in reply to Justanothernobody

    dont worry about them -  you have every right to be thier they dont own the supermarket

  • this happens all the time in supermarkets,  just forget about it,  dont take any offence. Her touching u was a human way of keeping balance as she squeezed past . Yes 'excuse me' would have helped,  but it doesnt always work. Think of dumping into each other in supermarkets as a trival issue and as part of the norm.  The best reaction is to just say 'Sorry' or not speak. She shouldnt have been abusive again its best to not react. If it gets out of control where they really become abusive complaint to management because they are covered in cameras way more than you realise.  

  • Yes. I find people don’t speak, say excuse me or anything and some even shove me out of the way. Others get annoyed after I’ve seen them and let them pass, yet how am I supposed to know they are there if they are silent? Others still just make rude comments behind me. Like you, I just say if you’d said excuse me I would have know you were there. 

    After all, none of us have eyes in the backs of our heads. I don’t deliberately block anybody’s path. I’m just a bit slow on my legs for city life!