It's been a few days now. Everything's turned up so loud and irritating me. Clothes itching me and annoying me. Words coming out jumbled. Extra clumsy. I ache in my bones. I've even removed wedding rings as their squeezing me :( feel like I'm getting nothing done. Constant anxiety. Even people talking too much I'm saying please stop. Usual methods of calming have been interrupted by people. Even today. I leant a neighbour my phone and carried on planting up as he was in need of help. A neighbour I hardly ever speak to and his wife came yelling at him in front of me. Too much. Please advise everything's so loud right now
I do wonder if this is stress related? My sensory issues are usually quite mild but if I’m stressed they magnify loads. Do you think that this increase in sensory issues could be related to the incident the other day with the harasser at the allotment? Perhaps if you can pinpoint what is causing the stress and take steps to reduce the cause of the stress then your sensory issues will also reduce?
I've had quite a few stressful interactions since friday. One with a compulsive liar I was hired to work for. The allotment man. My friends seeing me stim etc on a night out as I didnt know I was doing it I had been drinking. I cant explain how I feel better than I have above but it's so much more than I've written. I'm miserable right now :(
I do think it’s a reaction to stress. What happened with the compulsive liar? I know we prefer to stim in private and maybe you feel uncomfortable that your friends saw you. Have they mentioned it since? I’m guessing they were drinking too? Maybe they’ve forgotten about it?
Yes they did mention it. So I have an allotment and had met a nice couple on my last site. I'd only met their son in passing. Hes about my age. I've started my own gardening business he messaged me asking for me to work for him. I accepted. He said it was to help him but I said I'd work alone anyway he said was a 2 person job. I done the work alone whilst he made drinks....I declined! He chatted about random things and showed me his tattoos by taking his top off I felt uncomfortable. I was overwhelmed and discussed with my husband when I got home as he confused me. My husband said he fancies you. I said no I dont think so. Anyway when I was working he asked what I was doing later I replied I'm meeting my friend at the pub. He asked a time I stupidly answered. He turns up and I didnt know what to do. He hugged me, he smelt so bad too. He kept talking to me and stood between me and my friend. Told me about his army days, his 3 houses 2 are abroad, a famous person he is apparently best friends with, he goes snowboarding, water sports, he put my husband down even though doesnt know him. I know his parents have a holiday home in Spain but live here but he said that they live abroad! (I see them often at the allotment or going past). I left after 15 minutes as was alot of info. He tried to buy me a drink I refused he kept telling bar man just get her one I know the barman I said please listen to me I dont want one. He tried hugging me when I was leaving I said no we fist bump then i left. Next day i was helping bar man with the planting flowers I said sorry if I was rude but I dont know that man and he confuses me. The barman said he tells alot of stories but harmless. A barmaid said he told everyone I'd slept with him when I never and it made me angry another bar lady said I mentioned I'd been bitten on my leg and he kept on I should take my leggings off and show him it was weird.
He also said he could help me as I'd had back ache I said I'm fine thanks. He said something about his mum taught a local gp all there is to know about autism as his brothers autistic....I didnt tell him I was. Guy Martin's apparently begging him to go racing with him too. Really random. I barely looked at him whilst he carried on. My friend thought he was a friend of mine and said that he had invaded his personal space so he was angry. I had to say sorry and i barely knew him
It was pointed out before that I stretch alot. I'll bend my fingers back or go on tip toes. Or at bar hold onto the rail and lean back as I like the feeling on my forearms. Could this be stimming do you think? When I was younger I'd stretch my face muscles which resulted in bullying even by adults
I feel like this when I'm low on 'spoons', often post-meltdown (or post near-meltdown when I've spent a tonne of energy avoiding the meltdown) or when I've had a lot of stress in a short amount of time. I feel so tired and heavy and like I just can't-even, and I forget how to talk for the simplest things-I had a very busy couple of days a few weeks back and for days after I was having trouble just mustering the ability to say 'thank you' to the bus driver, and I kept going to get coffee and getting to the counter and it suddenly being like I couldn't work out how to communicate what I wanted.
I wear my headphones everywhere, and avoid people as much as I can (for me this isn't too hard, I can still come into uni but shut myself in my office-and if my supervisor wants to talk to me, he will usually recognise when I need to be left alone), and really just have to take a few days doing quiet low-energy things to recharge (and not worry that I'm not getting anything else done-I just remind myself it's counterproductive to keep trying to push through, and taking some time to take care of myself is a 'thing to get done' all by itself that will allow me to then carry on with everything else better).
If your usual quiet place isn't giving you enough respite (risk of people trying to talk to you etc), maybe look elsewhere for somewhere you can have some alone time? Go for a long walk in the countryside maybe? I like to spend a day out walking when I'm stressed, I find it relaxing to get outdoors and not have to say more than 'hello' and 'good morning' to a handful of people in passing.
Hello, it's no wonder you feel so terrible. You have had a lot to cope with in a short space of time. Be kind to yourself, and perhaps wear some headphones to cut out the noise and stop people interacting with you for a while. The person with the tattoos sounds like he would be too much for anyone. Sometimes you just have to blank people like that to stop them invading your space and making it clear you don't want to interact with them. I used to worry about being seen as rude for doing that but now I think the other person doesn't care that they are making me uncomfortable. Hope you feel better soon. Sorry I don't have any better advice.
Hi, I'm going to reply to all your 3 answers in one go otherwise the thread nesting thing will get way too confusing!
What did you say to your friends when they mentioned your stimming in front of them?
The guy that you did some gardening for seems very inappropriate and unaware of other people's personal space boundaries and social boundaries in general, Hmmm! If the barmaid was being honest and he said that he'd slept with you when he hadn't then that is really wrong! If he carries on making you feel uncomfortable then you're going to have to be direct and to the point with him "when you do X it makes me feel uncomfortable/other, because Y". Hopefully that will work!
Stretching could potentially be stimming, the stretching is giving you proprioceptive feedback ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Proprioception )
Sorry about that Kitsun I keep getting signed out so my messages arent finished. If i try to reply on another thread i have to sign in again it's so frustrating. Anyway, i dont know if i should takehis as a nice thing or feel insulted. Today I've been invited to what I can only gather Is a healing by god event. Its who commented on my stimming and now knows I may be autistic. I looked at the pe and the event and its testimonials of people suddenly healed that had mental illness