Published on 12, July, 2020
So I now have ASD listed on my medical record. It's in the database as well as on paper in my cupboard! That steps up the reality of it another few percent!
On another topic (but enabled by that "recording"), I now have my follow-up appointment with Autism Hampshire. I'm not sure what to expect, but I've grabbed it as I'll take all the help I can get!
Anyone have any experience with these follow-ups?
Yay for officialdom :-)
I didn't have any follow up appointment so I can't offer you any advice there but I hope they can offer something helpful.
How are you feeling about your diagnosis now?
It's a bit like moving house; there's a flurry of activity and excitement, and then after a month or so you're sitting at work and you suddenly remember "Oh yep! I live *there* now!".
I'm still very happy about it, and so relieved for the explanations it gives, but every now and then I think "Really? I'm just me aren't I? I'm normal" (because I'm comparing myself with my version of normal).
But the overriding feeling is one of cutting myself some slack. So many things I previously thought I *should* be able to do - I'm not going to be Brian Cox, Stephen Fry, Richard Branson. And I'm not going to single-handedly change things at work so that our company can change the world. Nor am I going to write a killer blog on autism that makes everyone go "Aha! *now* I understand!".
One thing I'm reflecting on is where these expectations came from. As a child I was always being told how clever I was, how my interests were "way beyond" anything my parents, teachers, relatives could understand. And the downside of this is that I felt like a failure if I didn't become an ambassador for something or a professor or an inventor. Maybe part of it is adjusting mid life, but I'm embracing the idea now that I can do spade-work at work and go home and enjoy walking the dogs :-).