Why do people think it's OK to be autistic?

Sickle Moon, I am an older woman, no kids. I love children, but not having them doesn’t make me any less female. 

What makes you feel not accepted and supported? I'm genuinely interested in what you have to say. 

There are always people who will put barriers in someone's way.  And there are always those who are affected by being exactly who they are.

We are all affected by autism in different ways.  But whatever way we are affected it is nothing to be ashamed of.  We are who we are.

I cannot even pretend to think I haven't had problems.  But most of my problems are caused by others putting barriers in my way.  The fact that I might think differently even if this causes others no harm.  The fact that I do things in my own way, even if this does not matter at all to other people..  The fact that others want to control me.  That they make judgements based on my inability to socially interract on occasions.  The fact that I may totally misunderstand what they have had.  The fact that there is often a delayed comprehension of things.  The fact I can get so engrossed about what I am doing that I don't realise what the time is or appear to be ignoring them.  The fact that I can be upset by the confusion and busy-ness of everyday life.

These are all things that are, in nearly all circumstances, of no concern to other people.  But these judgements can make it difficult to be appreciated or accepted, to have one's knowledge and experience be ignored, prevent one getting a job, and stop one being a 'member' of 'normal society'.

It is OK to be autistic.  Sometimes help may be needed, but mostly it is a question of acceptance and understanding being needed by others.  I can function perfectly well, do not commit crimes, and am quite capable of working out most problems of life.  Yet the way society is structured, there are always likely to be problems.

It's something people have been trying to do to me since I was a tiny child. Nobody wanted me to be a little girl, they wanted me to be a little boy. Nobody believes this, or they say they don't believe it, but I've got evidence.

I'm not under any illusion that having a baby will be easy. But it's everything, isn't it? Having your own child. I was pregnant - I posted on here about it - but unfortunately I miscarried at 7 weeks. I've tried to put it out of my mind and just press on, really.

Are you sure you want all the hassle and stress that comes with having a baby?   It's a lot of work and difficult on your own unless you have the support of family and friends.

also - how can people steal your gender from you?  I know lots of women and some are like cats - don't like getting cold or wet - and some are like dogs - out in all weathers and don't mind getting dirty - I'd never considered them less womanly either way.

I try to be as feminine as I possibly can, to the point where I'm trying for a baby with guys I meet...I'm not in a relationship but I want to have a child as that would be proof I'm a woman, and no one can take that from me. My own child would love me, too, and of course I'd love my child. I've often felt that people have been trying to steal my gender from me and it just isn't fair.

Sickle Moon said:

I often feel my strong sense of identity as a female is being stolen from me.

What do you think being a woman means?   Do you have an idealised vision of what you are supposed to be?  What's wrong with your version of woman?

Do you mind being different? And it's a man's thing because everyone thinks of it as a man's thing. There are still people who don't think autistic girls exist. Also, women are meant to be more empathic and loving. I love being female and I value being female so much; I'm sitting here sobbing thinking of all this diagnosis has taken from me and how it doesn't let me be a woman.

Why is it a mans things? I don't go as far as to say I am better for " having "it" " and i don't think of "it" as something I "have" just part of who I am which is more different from others than I am expected to be. However the more i look at the bad qualities in people I find that they are strictly NT qualities. I think the ideal person is a balance of NT and autism.