Published on 12, July, 2020
I've just realised, partly from coming on here and reading some of the threads and partly from getting my diagnosis I have more confidence than I realise.
It relates to just saying No, I still struggle greatly with arguing my point in a discussion and often crawl back into my shell but now if I'm asked to do something I don't agree with or go on a works night out and I don't want to go I now just say no, when I'm asked why I say because I don't want to. This has just come as a revelation, whats more people dont even bother to question it any more because well you just can't argue with No!
Or maybe I care less what they think? I don't know but I'm seeing it as a positive step forward.
Does anybody else get this?
I have always had problems with arguing my point in any form of discussion and usually give up, which always feels like conceding to the other person. No is a very hard word to learn to say, but I always say it now if I'm asked to do something that I don't want to do. It becomes difficult when it conflicts with caring about what people think of you, and I always try to present myself in a positive light to others and try to be an all-round pleaser, but that doesn't always pay because you are then likely to be seen as a soft touch. If I say no to someone now and they are miffed by it, it isn't my problem any longer, but I will still niggle over the fact that they might be feeling put out. I don't like letting other people down, which really comes down to self esteem. I'm still learning how to deal with this properly, but essentially I have to put myself first.