ASD diagnosis for women

Hi. I’m over 60 and recently diagnosed. My parents never really considered my development as different in any way, or would never admit to it, but then they never thought anything was different about the whole  family and my mother is still proud to be unique. It’s obvious to me now we are a family with high autistic traits. What’s more, the school/social services etc would probably step in if we lived like that today. My mother was never a reliable source for information about our childhoods, still isn’t and she hates psychiatrists/ psychologists and seeing doctors to this day. Dad, had he lived past 45 would not be a good source either, since he went to work before the family woke up and the children were in bed by the time he came home. Why on earth do psychiatrists only help people with parents who recognise their child had problems, are prepared to admit to them if they do, and who trust the profession enough to help and not blame? That must leave a lot of people unable to access support. I cannot be the only Aspie from a largely autistic environment where rather different behaviours etc are normal. I do just wonder if your own father can be a reliable source of information up to age 3, since I myself only realised I was somehow different when I was expected to mix with other children of my own age at school. In the end, due to my age I was assessed without any input from my mother. She would have lied anyway, even if she could remember. 

This forum should help you decide and cope. Welcome. 

Hi. I’m over 60 and recently diagnosed. My parents never really considered my development as different in any way, or would never admit to it, but then they never thought anything was different about the whole  family and my mother is still proud to be unique. It’s obvious to me now we are a family with high autistic traits. What’s more, the school/social services etc would probably step in if we lived like that today. My mother was never a reliable source for information about our childhoods, still isn’t and she hates psychiatrists/ psychologists and seeing doctors to this day. Dad, had he lived past 45 would not be a good source either, since he went to work before the family woke up and the children were in bed by the time he came home. Why on earth do psychiatrists only help people with parents who recognise their child had problems, are prepared to admit to them if they do, and who trust the profession enough to help and not blame? That must leave a lot of people unable to access support. I cannot be the only Aspie from a largely autistic environment where rather different behaviours etc are normal. I do just wonder if your own father can be a reliable source of information up to age 3, since I myself only realised I was somehow different when I was expected to mix with other children of my own age at school. In the end, due to my age I was assessed without any input from my mother. She would have lied anyway, even if she could remember. 

This forum should help you decide and cope. Welcome. 

Hi Alice, 

I'm sorry to hear your parents weren't supportive in your journey to discovering your autism. I can relate to your experience to an extent. My Dad has an understanding that autism is a chronic condition with extreme noticeable types of behaviour, which is of course the case for some people, but it has taken time for me to explain the idea of a spectrum to him. He does still think I was a normal child though. It's really hard for me to figure out if it's worth pursuing a diagnosis when he tells me I was only a bit shy as a child. Lots of things I've experienced from my own memory would suggest it was more severe than that, and I have learned ways of coping and masking it. My main coping mechanism is to avoid people entirely, but of course, that's not a practical solution!