Published on 12, July, 2020
Ok, so here’s the thing.
My boyfriend has aspergers syndrome. He keeps staring at other girls when we go out- and I don’t mean just glaring, lookig, peeking. I mean downright STARING silently at a girl, watching her every move until she leaves his sight.
This makes me a little jealous of course. I don’t mind him looking, because hey I look at guys too, but I don’t stare at them so obviously. I’ve talked to him about this, expressed how I’ve felt when he does this.
He keeps saying he didn’t mean to stare, and that he only wants me, and so on. He also says it’s because of his diagnosis that he’s acting like this. So autism makes guys stare at other girls and flirt with other girls even though he is in a relationship?
Maybe it does? That’s why I’ve come here to ask hopefully other adults who have autism.
Thank you in advanve.
I like people watching, trying to guess what sort of person they might be just by observation, what they might be up to, what their conversations may be about and how they are going, what seems to be the "social dynamic" going on, trying to pick up on details etc. I tend to come up with "stupid" nicknames for people based on my observations and random thoughts. Generally only people who I find interesting in some way get nick names when inspiration strikes. I guess because I'm male, I tend to find more women interesting, because blokes are often much of a muchness to me, but I will find blokes interesting if there's something sufficiently distinctive about them.
I don't often have an interest in getting involved in the conversations because I'm more interested in just trying to see what I can get out of my observations.
I like people watching at Meetup events. I watch the dynamics of those who contribute to the conversations and those who do not. The non-contributers are normally socially tone-deaf so they sit themselves down between the talkers and block the conversation. It kills the Meetup stone dead.
I've often sat there watching the conversation die and I'm torn - do I re-ignite the conversation across a different set of people or do I just leave.
The decision depends on how the social 'ballast people' are arranged around the table. There are some that are just too much hard work to bother with and others who will shove along the seats so I can move myself into the gap and get things going again.
It's like tending a bonfire.