Published on 12, July, 2020
There have been lots of posts lately about Christmas. I quite like Christmas and find it quite manageable. New Year however, I find much harder.
The last few years I've just stayed in by myself to avoid it but have felt myself feeling really quite upset and lonely especially seeing everyone's pictures on social media of them enjoying bringing it in with their loved ones. I know I should avoid looking but I can't resist.
I'd happily see in the new year with a small group of friends. Food, a few drinks and some games. This would be my perfect new year. I don't know anyone that would want to bring in the new year like this though.
I have the option this year of going to the pub with a couple of friends but I know the pub will be really busy on New Years Eve and I would just hate it. I'm not a big drinker either. I've tried going to the pub for New Year before and just sat in the corner wishing the hours away.
I don't really have any close friends so it's difficult to explain to people why I wouldn't want to bring in New Year the same way as them and I certainly don't want to ruin anyone else's fun.
My parents have a group of friends that take it in turns to host New Year so I can't go to them either.
I really hate New Year after New Year being me bringing it in alone. I like me time and not spending too much time with people but I really wish I had a good friend or 2 I could share these times with and would understand the difficulties I have with them.
How do other people cope with this time of year?
When I did shift work I volunteered to be on duty on New Year's Eve so I was busy doing my job and getting paid when midnight came. I have been to some truly depressing parties, not to be repeated. I once walked around Norwich late on New Year's Eve, not actually going into any pubs, as they were all too busy and noisy, just people watching.
These days we go out and do something early in the evening - last year a spectacular light and sound event I got free tickets for - then we come home, text close relatives before the networks get blocked, settle down and watch Jules Holland. When the midnight chimes finally sound it's a relief to get to bed.
I get quite reflective around New Year about what has been and what it is to come. This is probably intensified because I have a birthday early in January. This year will be special - the start of the first year of my life when I know I am actually autistic. I should get my diagnostic report in the first week of January so the beginning of the New Year will be a reflective time too.
I don't make New Year's resolutions as such but I tend to have a think about a big overall aim for the year. Last year it was to get work and life back into balance. I have done that in spectacular fashion by ending the year off sick with work related stress! It's an effective but drastic way of dealing with the issue! Looking ahead I realise the importance of avoiding overwork and spending time in benign, not toxic, environments.
Perhaps more than ever before I am looking forward to welcoming in the New Year.
I think that's the thing. I'm not actually bothered about New Year or particularly want to do anything for it. It would just be nice to have someone to share it with.
Most of the time I'm ok with being autistic but like you at this time of year I do a lot of reflecting and I feel like it's just a massive reminder that I'm different and don't fit in.
I'm glad you have found a way to celebrate (or tolerate) New Year. Good luck with your work situation.
Thank you! I have just booked tickets for the 3.20pm screening of Mary Poppins Returns on New Year's Eve. The original is one of my favourite films so it will be interesting to see a new interpretation of the role.
'Betwixtmas' is a strange period - not really Christmas any more, but things are still not back to normal. I am at the GP having a blood test on New Year's Eve morning, so that will help to fill the day too!
On the subject of fitting in I enjoyed watching this short film (8 things autistic women want you to know):
twitter.com/.../1078455490772750337
I agree about the friends bit of the film. I am making friends here online though, and that is a real breakthrough for me!
Just watched the short film. I enjoyed it. Wasn't sure about the last bit as it made it sound as if autistic women will suddenly make friends when they get older/diagnosed. I really don't find friends any easier than as a child and age and diagnosis don't make any difference to that. I know it was probably done to be positive and make people realise they will be ok but I didn't think it was completely realistic. The rest of it I thought was really good though. Especially the bit about emotions.
I've already seen the new Mary Poppins. It has nothing on the original but I still loved it. Hope you enjoy it.
Going to watch a film is the kind of thing I like to do but unfortunately just don't have people to do stuff like that with. My social anxiety is way too high to go alone.
I will check out that short film. Thanks.