I have a very unhappy other half who has requested that I go to the doctors today to get some medication to make sure that I don't "ruin Christmas" (I had a panic attack/meltdown at the weekend).
Can anyone recommend anything that will help?
thank you
Ellie
Would the "very unhappy other half" be willing to do his share, sit down and talk it through with you and jointly come up with a plan for Christmas? Might he care to drill down into what exactly leads to such "ruin" and consider his own role in the situation? Maybe in terms of helping to manage what it is that's likely to lead to such a panic or, should it arise, what might help or minimise the effects?
Also "ruining Christmas" seems like a very catastrophising/blaming/distancing stance that to my mind has no place in either a loving relationship or a cosy winter celebration that's supposed to involve a spirit of goodwill. Maybe he needs to go to the GP to ask for some CBT support with this line of thinking?
I have spent the last 18 months trying to explain the aspie thing and my limitations. I even have my first referral assessment in three months time so that at least is being taken seriously by outsider agencies.
Deaf ears I’m afraid. He was in hospital for four months in the summer and he couldn’t see that I struggled with that either :(
i feel more machine than human
Report. Can’t stay at a refuge. Been advised to find a B&B.
Hence the meltdown at the weekend. Walking on eggshells, performance anxiety. Not being able to judge what his mod will be. I am usually mute and passive and get shot down if I get pissy!
i have asked for a day pass so I can leave the house, go and see friends or have a choice in what I do. I have been permitted this but warned that there is no “get out of jail free card”.
Do you have any idea what the potential consequences of being perceived to have "ruined Christmas" are?
Even if there was some possible anti-anxiety drug available, I'd fear that might not be a great idea because even if the anxiety was reduced, I can't imagine feeling like you were walking on eggshells feeling would be conducive to a happy environment anyway?
Sorry for snapping.
I care a great deal for Ellie, having read many of her posts she tells of difficulties but also tries to hide the true extent, actually telling people what a god awful mess your in is extremely difficult.
Being seen as the careing sort, knowledgeable, funny and quick to cheer others up can mask what lies beneath.
I do apologise as I have been here as long as she has, you most likely have read some of her replies on other posts, always quick to interject humour. Witty. Very intelligent.
The list goes on and she won’t thank me for saying all this.
But the ability to help oneself is something as autistics we struggle with.
It causes so much worry and often leads to thoughts of why bother, what’s it all worth.
Yes we can all make judgements based on facts, it is be able to just do it and know it won’t just get worse that holds some of us back.
thank you Blank,, it really does help when things are so difficult to get the head around.
Much love to you.
Thank you for posting. There are a few here that have been through challenging relationships and got out.
I’m posting for advice and reassurance as this is a big and dangerous place I’m in at present and it’s navigatibg it the right way
x
It's okay. Doesn't matter. I've been there or else wouldn't speak.
No decision is worse than making any decision. Threats of violence can be proven and you can do things with that.
But it's just fine.
Wishing you and everyone the best of luck.
please don’t judge her in such a way.
This sadly is for real. Being autistic isn’t an easy life.
Many come here talking If suicide, I myself have given it much thought. And yet I have a steady job, a home surely if I wasn’t happy I could just walk away?
It really is that simple.
Threat of violence ,,,, did you not read my replies saying she had previously stated as much. Sorry you think as a grown women it is easy to just walk away from such a man. If it were she would no longer be there.
Thsnk you for your sdvice though. It all helps. ()
I suppose . is a grown woman. I give up.
You let yourself be sent to your room without food??? I'm sorry?
I give up.
Time to take action. Why accept such humiliation? Is this for real?
If you can hold three jobs, certainly you can arrange things in such a way that you get the money and plan way in advance to leave. And without him noticing.
Whatever. Makes me wonder if it's true at all.
After spending eighteen months trying to get across autism to him without ANY success, then to think he might sit down and talk things through isn’t in my mind a slight possibility.
He thought autism could be cured by taking a few pills.
He has told her to take on more work, two more jobs, she travels hours just to get to work. Has to walk miles to and from the station.
These are all things she has said on here,
I As for spending alone time and having a safe place! Erm I seem to remember last Xmas Ellie stating because she wasn’t being the perfect host she got SENT to her room with no food. Your advice is very good but I have read many of her posts. Please know I am not dismissing your advice or anyone’s, it all helps with the understanding and ability to take in biard what is going in. Maybe how best to deal with it.
I know without the support I have received from many in here I would have struggled immensely.
Doesn’ t exactly sound very understanding to me.
I have known Ellie since I joined and support her as much as I can.
She also supports me as well as many others in here,
If I had perfect answers I would be the first to say.
It is good that everyone is rallying around to support in whatever way they can.
NAS won’t get involved unless I write profanity in capital letters, they rarely even take action when “ suicide” is mentioned or immenant?
Reaching out to the community in here has helped me tremendously. In turn I do what I can to help or support others.
Ellie has been extremely brave in so many ways, speaking out on here, contacting agencies, many also give support here behind the scenes, we all do. It is what good people do.
please please carry on with any adbpvice you may have.
Much love to all. () () ()
After spending eighteen months trying to get across autism to him without ANY success, then to think he might sit down and talk things through isn’t in my mind a slight possibility.
He thought autism could be cured by taking a few pills.
He has told her to take on more work, two more jobs, she travels hours just to get to work. Has to walk miles to and from the station.
These are all things she has said on here,
I As for spending alone time and having a safe place! Erm I seem to remember last Xmas Ellie stating because she wasn’t being the perfect host she got SENT to her room with no food. Your advice is very good but I have read many of her posts. Please know I am not dismissing your advice or anyone’s, it all helps with the understanding and ability to take in biard what is going in. Maybe how best to deal with it.
I know without the support I have received from many in here I would have struggled immensely.
Doesn’ t exactly sound very understanding to me.
I have known Ellie since I joined and support her as much as I can.
She also supports me as well as many others in here,
If I had perfect answers I would be the first to say.
It is good that everyone is rallying around to support in whatever way they can.
NAS won’t get involved unless I write profanity in capital letters, they rarely even take action when “ suicide” is mentioned or immenant?
Reaching out to the community in here has helped me tremendously. In turn I do what I can to help or support others.
Ellie has been extremely brave in so many ways, speaking out on here, contacting agencies, many also give support here behind the scenes, we all do. It is what good people do.
please please carry on with any adbpvice you may have.
Much love to all. () () ()
Report. Can’t stay at a refuge. Been advised to find a B&B.
Hence the meltdown at the weekend. Walking on eggshells, performance anxiety. Not being able to judge what his mod will be. I am usually mute and passive and get shot down if I get pissy!
i have asked for a day pass so I can leave the house, go and see friends or have a choice in what I do. I have been permitted this but warned that there is no “get out of jail free card”.
Do you have any idea what the potential consequences of being perceived to have "ruined Christmas" are?
Even if there was some possible anti-anxiety drug available, I'd fear that might not be a great idea because even if the anxiety was reduced, I can't imagine feeling like you were walking on eggshells feeling would be conducive to a happy environment anyway?
Sorry for snapping.
I care a great deal for Ellie, having read many of her posts she tells of difficulties but also tries to hide the true extent, actually telling people what a god awful mess your in is extremely difficult.
Being seen as the careing sort, knowledgeable, funny and quick to cheer others up can mask what lies beneath.
I do apologise as I have been here as long as she has, you most likely have read some of her replies on other posts, always quick to interject humour. Witty. Very intelligent.
The list goes on and she won’t thank me for saying all this.
But the ability to help oneself is something as autistics we struggle with.
It causes so much worry and often leads to thoughts of why bother, what’s it all worth.
Yes we can all make judgements based on facts, it is be able to just do it and know it won’t just get worse that holds some of us back.
thank you Blank,, it really does help when things are so difficult to get the head around.
Much love to you.
Thank you for posting. There are a few here that have been through challenging relationships and got out.
I’m posting for advice and reassurance as this is a big and dangerous place I’m in at present and it’s navigatibg it the right way
x
It's okay. Doesn't matter. I've been there or else wouldn't speak.
No decision is worse than making any decision. Threats of violence can be proven and you can do things with that.
But it's just fine.
Wishing you and everyone the best of luck.
please don’t judge her in such a way.
This sadly is for real. Being autistic isn’t an easy life.
Many come here talking If suicide, I myself have given it much thought. And yet I have a steady job, a home surely if I wasn’t happy I could just walk away?
It really is that simple.
Threat of violence ,,,, did you not read my replies saying she had previously stated as much. Sorry you think as a grown women it is easy to just walk away from such a man. If it were she would no longer be there.
Thsnk you for your sdvice though. It all helps. ()
I suppose . is a grown woman. I give up.
You let yourself be sent to your room without food??? I'm sorry?
I give up.
Time to take action. Why accept such humiliation? Is this for real?
If you can hold three jobs, certainly you can arrange things in such a way that you get the money and plan way in advance to leave. And without him noticing.
Whatever. Makes me wonder if it's true at all.
