Published on 12, July, 2020
This is not me having a whinge. But does anyone on the forum had or have to deal with the expectation that as they are good at what they do they feel that there is a continued and increasing need to do and provide more and more to suit others.
I sometimes feel that I have just become a high functioning machine rather than human and that the challenging aspects of autism (where I am low functioning) are negated or ignored.
Hello Ellie. Mm. Well you could think of high functioning as functioning highly ie that you do do a lot which as you’ve said .. you do. It’s always said if you want something doing ask a busy person. So the more you do, the more you do .. until you run out. So yes unless you create your own boundaries and teach yourself it’s ok to say no and learn for yourself when things are too much for you.. then you will continue to be taken advantage of. People have expectations of us to suit their needs about what’s easier and more convenient for us to fulfill. And seem to think their needs are more important than ours. It’s also convenient for them to ignore, not acknowledge, accept, try to understand the aspects we don’t do well, need understanding and accommodating because they have to make an effort or change their expectations or behaviour and they don’t see why they should. Also I think gender stereotyping may be part of this ( sorry guys) but there is still the idea it’s the female role to do the nurturing, healing, caring, etc So again ( and it’s hard ( I can’t do it) ) we need to know what our boundaries are and put them in place.. or try to.. him not sure how helpful this is .. but yes it sucks to be dumped on in the you’re available you can do it department! x
Ps sorry if it sounds cynical but I’m having trouble with this area too.
So good to have you here.
I hope things are going okay for you, Missie.
Thank you. Nice to find you here too. I just stopped by to see how everyone was and because I was feeling a bit like your description on your post. A conundrum isn’t it.