ADHD or Aspergers?

I have a diagnosis of Aspergers (apparently, one of the last to get that diagnosis). I am 35 and depressed, but mostly just sad, which I think is different. I need to find a job doing something intellectually challenging, so I'm trying to start a career in software development - I had one position but it didn't work out. I have had amazing concentration in the past, and was able to take on a lot of information and learn things very fast, but I find that difficult now. I hate being tested - I had a number of awful episodes when I was a kid that made me feel like it didn't matter how well I did and it was better to fail and not draw attention to myself. I used to read all the time, but now I can't read for long at all without becoming distracted. I have worked quite hard on being less distracted, but I still find it an effort to hold the meaning of things in my head from one end of a sentence to the other. I feel, given this, it is miraculous I can understand as much as I do.

I have been afraid for a long time of going into the absorbed state of concentration that I love to be in. I don't really know why - I feel not allowed? Or vulnerable to not noticing what is going on around me? But then I can't do it at home either when nobody else is around. Other people seem to recognise this state when you talk to them about the autistic spectrum, but no matter what they say I know they will be annoyed if I actually enter that state and I forget they exist for a bit. In the past people have been violently angry when I did this. Sometimes, if I get really absorbed, it does hurt my head to come out of that state.

All of this means I don't like to think in front of people. I generally just pretend to be stupid and go along with things. I like to do my actual work in secret with perfect quiet. I have a fear of explaining things to people because they always want me to package things with interpretations and then get upset if the interpretation conflicts with something they believe or even just like. I tend to remember what they say and any questions they have so I can answer them properly later, but people are obsessed with having answers immediately - they even seem to prefer a wrong fast answer to a right one that takes longer than 5 minutes for me to produce!

I am always anxious and do not like being touched on public transport, which in a big city is hard. Everybody is always aggressively positioning themselves on or over you and I have meltdowns at people standing too close behind me in shopping queues or on the underground when young men try to expand into every space I move to get away from them. 

All of which either gives me the symptoms of ADHD or I have actual ADHD now. I didn't as a child. My doctor says I should go down the route of getting an autism specialist rather than an ADHD treatment route because the waiting times can be very long - I think he said a year? Whatever this is, it is costing me opportunities and making me feel terrible - my meltdowns are getting more frequent - mostly I don't get angry I just get confused and get lost and lose things. On Thursday last week I lost my mobile on the tube - it was probably stolen from my pocket but I was feeling very confused at the time. I need help to concentrate and regain my awareness when I meltdown.

Do other people have both diagnoses? Do you take drugs for them or use other things to help? Any advice appreciated