how do I cope with my outbursts?

I scream, like I will get wound up about the same thing. It’s so hard for people to understand how we are wired. I do act irrational like no matter what is said it doesn’t stop. I feel really sorry for my partner because it’s hard for a non aspie to not bite back. But actually it makes it worse. So then it becomes sensory overload. I keep thinking the outbursts will get better when infact I know they will never go away because I mentally can’t stop myself. So I need work out how to calm myself down. But same as you it’s a switch and it’s always been a switch in my brain, which is completely uncontrollable. 

What are your outbursts? Mine are usually anger, rage, throwing phones, acting irrational and if I meltdown bad I usually start kicking and punching the wall. Although I'm not violent and never have been. It's strange how at times when I outburst I switch into a completely different person. It shatters everything around me and usually ends up causing family problems and drama. I've had about 4 a week for the past few months and I'm getting to the point where I can't stand it anymore. I don't enjoy out bursting like this. I'm too old for this :( 

I tend to stay silent and bottle things up too. And just like you I get fed up of explaining over and over. It's so hard for non aspies to even understand. It's like talking to brick walls at times so I don't even bother.

I tend to not talk and let it build up because the things I want to talk about are usually a repeat of what’s already been discussed, but in my head in my process I need to go over it again until I understand. 

Massive change this year out of routine but I’ve settled down recently. It’s more directed towards my other half and it’s usually when I’m stressed and feel overloaded. But like I over think and then let that take over. 

Do you have any idea what's behind causing them?  Has anything changed recently?