Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi all,
I finally at 33 decided after some of my own research to ask my GP for an assessment referral as my family/close people have for a while been telling me I'm "on the spectrum" and pointing out things I've always done. Things had been stressing me out masking and negatively stimming (I think that's the right term?).
My GP luckily agreed some of my list of noticed traits/habits were typical autistic traits and some could have been obsessive behaviours so referred me.
The more I researched about autism the more I recognised things in myself and the more I felt I identify with autism and want to find support.
My worry now is that:
A) I've read a lot about long waiting lists and I stress and get anxious a lot waiting for important things.
B) I will have a negative assessment and be shot back down to struggling with my "quirks".
I'm partially starting to regret the referral now as I've felt extra self conscious after researching and asking those close to me to discuss what issues they've noticed about me but I feel a positive diagnosis would really help me.
Has anybody got any advice here as I'm feeling super stuck and stressed.
I've been reading that you should bring someone who's known you since childhood to the assessment but I can't decide who that should be.
My parents are VERY different people and divorced. One of them is very level headed and tends to play things down and the other tends to be over the top and critical. Part of me feels the one who is more over the top and critical is more likely to put across issues she can remember about me. On the other hand, maybe the more level headed one could be more focused but I fear they might want to play things down too much and not be too helpful for the assessment.
I don't really have anybody else I've known since childhood as I had trouble keeping friends though I would prefer not to have to drag my parents in and bring up too much of the past as I feel I had a bit of an upsetting childhood with them at times.
Really I just want to completely bury my head in the sand until some sort of positive outcome but that hasn't gotten me anywhere in the past. Maybe that's why bringing someone else would help.
My wife has only known me for nearly 5 years but of course spends the most time around me and notices the most but is that kind of reference wasted as it doesn't justify the "lifelong condition" criteria?
I just want everything to be final and get on with sorting things out... patience is not my strength with these kinds of things.
my private assessment in July was £800, 1 month between referral and diagnosis appt. I declined to give details of parents/family and it was not an issue in me getting diagnosed
I was in a similar position with regards to my parents. They live some distance away so completed questionnaires which my sister sent directly to the psychologist. My siblings also completed questionnaires and my husband emailed the psychologist to explain issues and challenges in our 12 year long relationship.
I preferred to attend the assessment sessions on my own. It's a very individual thing - do whatever feels right for you. At the feedback session once I had been told my diagnosis and discussed some immediate concerns my husband joined us for the rest of the meeting. That was very helpful as the psychologist explained things clearly to both of us.
Information about difficulties you are having now is just as relevant I feel. Psychologists are always keen to get some input on infancy and early childhood too, given the diagnostic criteria for autism.
Good luck with the next steps whatever you decide to do.
I went through something similar as the NHS (I live abroad) and although they made me wait for more than a year, I did have counselling every so many weeks. I paid nothing.
I took my husband to the interview because he knows me best. I couldn't take my mother (psychiatric patient) and my father is no longer alive. I did have an aunt and uncle fill out a lenghty questionnaire concerning stuff in my childhood. They knew me well back then.
I also had two separate two hour interviews in which I rambled on and gave a $&@" load of information.
Try not to worry too much and try taking one step at the time. I don't either but try. I thinknit might be an autism thing too to always see things in its enormity with all the options and consequences where others just sit back and let things happen one step at the time.
My referral was put in on the22nd August and I am currently in the hospital car park waiting to go in for the assessment. So that’s just under 3 months wait through the NHS.
Its been challenging getting through those 3 months but it has gone quicker than I thought
My 80 year old mother is attending the last two hours to fill then in on my early years
The staff must be pretty used to seeing autistic people and will see though any masking pretty easily so there’s no need to worry about them not picking up the signs