Autism and therapy question

My dad was like that. He couldn'tnhear or read about an illness without thinking he had it too. He was freaked out about bacteria too.

I spent my childhood thinking you could contract anything from anywhere. Then I found out you don't have to worry about using the same cup twice etc.

I do tend towards hypochondria so my psychologist advised me not to spend too much time trying to diagnose myself with different conditions.

I am really glad I did recognise I had an ASD though, as none of my GPs ever did, even when I mentioned it as a possibiiity. 

Yes.  I'm fairly sure I could've been happier and better adjusted if I'd been in more suitable and supportive environment for my nature as I grew up etc.  A lot of the anxiety stems from all the insecurity, self-esteem issues and impostor syndrome difficulties that came from trying to fit a square peg into a round hole.

Clubs and societies are a reasonably safe place to get more social interaction since the shared interest means you have something to talk about.

I'm not really one for the 'be happy with yourself' thing. Might be because I am not or some other reason.

But the psychologist meant it as: there are many people with autistic traits that are happy living in solitude or working solitary jobs and don't care about others.

My ex boyfriend was like your husband. Very much to himself and not into social things. He never said anything in groups. People would talk to him. He had no problem with that though, and felt quite at ease.

If you feel like you want more social interaction, why don't you join a cycling club or wherever your interests lie.

Sunflower I can imagine your psychologist's reaction because not all tests on the internet are decent, so to say. And these days people think all kinds of things are wrong with them because of all the online tests.

Hi Henpecked,

Good luck for tomorrow - here is a link to the ADHD test for women and girls: https://www.additudemag.com/adhd-symptoms-test-girls/?src=test

My psychologist seemed unimpressed when I told her I had done this test and got a high score! 

You're right Blank, it really depends whether you are happy within yourself.

My husband has some autistic traits. He zones out of conversations and stops looking at people leaving me to do the talking (that's if we do go out, and it will only be with family). He is extremely shy, works in IT. He hates social occasions such as going to the pub after work etc and will avoid almost all work dos. We met online - neither of us would have met any other way. However he says he is happy with his lot whereas I 'think' I would like a bit more of a social life - not pubs and clubs but perhaps a cycling buddy / group. I think women naturally feel they should have friends, perhaps.

He doesn't though have any sensory problems like I do - he can sit and read whilst listening to music through headphones! I really can't understand that. And I snip all the tags out of his clothes because I presume they will annoy him as much as me but he says there is no need as they don't bother him . Neither does he constantly ruminate and try and interpret what people mean by texts / emails etc like I do. 

Don't be surprised if your husband has some autistic traits too. My husband discovered he has some while he was talking to the psychologist who needed his input for my assessment

She said most people have some traits but not everyone is bothered by them.

Hi Sunflower, I'm reading through older posts and am interested in the women and girls'  test you did. Could you send me a link please?  As you know I have my initial session tomorrow. I've only completed the standard tests from the source in Cambridge, interestingly my husband and I scored the same on that one. 

That explanation is really helpful and makes a lot of sense. Thanks so much for this. It will be interesting to see what the report says when I get it. I don't know how much detail it will go into about the specific nature of my difficulties. The biggest change is going to be me taking things a bit easier without feeling guilty about it. 

Whether or not the traits of the autism spectrum are inclusive of the ones for AD(H)D, particularly "pure-inattentive" ADD, has been quite a controversial issue in psychology. In the past, and to some psychologists now, the position was that AD(H)D executive function differences were a proper sub-set of those for autism, such that dual diagnosis wasn't appropriate because ASD implicitly includes ADD traits. However, just like absolutely any other ASD trait, there are people for whom they are not a problem, and others for whom they are their most severe problem.

So, my take on it is that a dual diagnosis might still be useful even if ADD is a sub-set of ASD, as a means to identify the sub-set of autistic people for whom those particular differences are a significant factor in their difficulties, and to be able to tailor interventions accordingly. That's exactly what the diagnostic manuals do with factors such as language delay and intellectual impairments which may or may not occur in any particular case of ASD, so I see no reason to treat ADD traits any differently. No-one would claim that autistic people should not get a diagnosis of epilepsy just because seizures are so common for autistic people, for example.

I mentioned that I had done the questionnaire to my psychologist yesterday. She seems to think I am just ASD. To be honest I could probably diagnose myself with more or less anything if I read into it deeply enough! 

Same here. I thought all those questions were more yhe standard ASD ones, but apparently there is a difference?

I did the version for women and girls and got 88%. It seemed to me that many of the questions were about things that could also be explained by being autistic. 

Sunflower said:

The bit about ADHD and hyper focus

Hyper Focus is my best friend, and sometimes my worst enemy. It can be a release, but if I go in too far, it becomes a bit unhealthy. 

Scored 61% on the ADHD test via that linked website.

Thanks for all the responses, guys. Some interesting and varied stories. Pirate Santa: your ADHD angle has gotten me curious. I didn't even think or consider that that could be related to the negative thinking I often get. Or the fact that it could be related to hyperfocus, which I also have with things that greatly interest me. I'll have to check out that link you've posted. I've lost count how many times people have gotten frustrated with me about my fixed and stubborn ways involving my mindset. They always suggest for me to change it, but they lack the understanding behind autism/Asperger's etc.

Considering the lack of autism support in my area, I highly doubt there's anything to do with CBT. :-\ When I spoke to my GP about seeing a psychiatrist, the only place there seemed to be was a place in a near town where you could self-refer. I suspect they're more like councillors in mental health though.

There are therapies for ASD people, some might work well, some less. Same goes for medication. Some might help you out, some might not, or you might have a problem with them.

I have had 'normal' therapy, and that really didn't do the trick. I am going to do two ASD courses next year, and I need to go see an ASD counsellor.

In my case the normal ASD meds give too many problems or I get very agitated. But there are painkillers that accidentally help me calm down a little so that at least I start the day less stressed out and nervous (due to strict schedules).

It comes down to the individual.

This is very interesting and helpful. I really appreciate the fact that you went into so much detail in your reply. I like a long read on an important subject such as this.

It makes perfect sense to me to want to understand how a treatment works. I am not diagnosed ASD yet (but I will find out if I am later on today). My mind is quite open about what makes life so challenging for me.  

I have had counselling several times over the years. Interestingly I sometimes get tangled up in words so therapists resorted to things like guided visualisations or getting me to build things with Lego  (maybe that was a clue that I might be autistic!). 

The bit about ADHD and hyper focus is new to me. I am off to check out additudemag. 

Thanks again for all this helpful reflection and information. 

Very interested to see your post, I am a 57 year old male who was diagnosed with Autism last year. I have suffered from depression, low self-esteem & even suicidal thoughts for most of my life, but originally I used to put it down to the aftershock of being very badly bullied at school for many years.

Five years ago, my depression became much worse, so my Doctor prescribed anti-depressants & referred me for therapy. Rather than the knee-jerk offering of CBT, I had quite a few pre-assessment meetings to determine what therapy would suit me best, with CBT being eliminated quite quickly. In the end, I was offered a year of 'Transference Focussed Psychotherapy' which is usual offered to people with Borderline Personality Disorder. I don't have BPD, but since I do have many issues with sense of identiity & self esteem, that seemed like the best fit.

After a further year of waiting (18 months from the initial referral), the therapy started, but although my therapist was very good, it was obvious to me from the start that it wasn't going anywhere. I just used to turn up, talk about very distressing & emotional things, then go home again. I couldn't understand how doing that was supposed to help with my mental heath problems, because my memories of traumatic events were more like perfect holographic recordings that didn't change just because I talked about them. If anything it made me feel worse because it just seemed to increase the level of intrusive thoughts about my past. My therapist used to say that "I couldn't allow anything to help me unless I understood how it was supposed to work on a scientific level", to which my response was always "What's wrong with that?". 

After my 12 months were up, my therapist recommended to my Doctor that I had an Autism assessment, which I had also discussed with her during sessions. She felt that my thought patterns were unusually rigid & resistant to change, which meant that I could not benefit from psychotherapy. After many more months of waiting for my ASD assessment with LancUK, I finally received my diagnosis early last year.

It isnt just therapy that doesnt work for me though, as I seem to be effectively immune to all the usual SSRI, SNRI anti-depressants as well. I have tried quite a few different ones over the last five years with no real success other than possibly an initial placebo effect because I was desperate for something  to help. Until four months ago, I had been on a fairly high dose of Venlafaxine for over a year, but after telling my Doctor that I thought that didnt work either, I decided to test the theory by phasing it out over three weeks & could easily have done it faster. The recommended discontinuation is far longer than that, with some people taking years to cut it out. After that my Doctor agreed it was pointless to prescribe more variations of the same thing & referred me to see a psychiatrist in order to review different avenues of medication.

After seeing a specialist mental health nurse, I am now waiting for another assessment with LancUK, this time for ADHD. I hadn't considered ADHD until seeing the mental health nurse & didn't know much about it other than the usual cliches. There is a high overlap with ASD, & the symptoms can often be hidden for people on the spectrum. I wasn't aware that ADHD can cause the same chronic feelings of low self esteem & depression that I have always suffered from. I also wasn't aware that the flip side of ADHD was hyperfocus, where people can become so engrossed in things that interest them that they lose all track of time. Hyperfocus is usually my only refuge from depression, if I can find something that really interests me, then it's almost as if I blank out & temporarily at least can forget about my problems.

The reason the ADHD diagnosis is important though & not just another label to add to the list, is that unlike ASD it is treatable with medication. Allegedly, the ADHD drugs are highly effective at reducing those horrible racing negative thoughts, allowing you to relax & enjoy things without constant self criticism. There are several very good websites that describe adult ADHD, with https://www.additudemag.com being a particularly good one.

Hopefully I am not just building an additional ADHD diagnosis into some magic fix for all my problems, but the mental health nurse that I saw was convinced that it was the root of my depression & also why I am completely unresponsive to conventional treatments. I just need to wait a very long time for an appointment with LancUK again, where hopefully they will agree.

Sorry if this is a bit long, I've never been very good at giving short answers to questions .