Published on 12, July, 2020
I recently got my dream job as a Python Developer and at first it was really great, but after a few weeks I had to declare I was on the autistic spectrum because my boss kept taking the mickey out of me infront of my colleagues at daily standup meetings when I asked questions where he thought the answers were "obvious". I had to take to take him aside and explain that I do need to ask questions and the answers aren't obvious to me, but he responded by giving me a really massive project to do that involved learning a great deal. I managed it, but it took me six weeks and during that time he had increased the level of ridicule so I was having regular anxiety attacks infront of everybody and making a lot of errors because I couldn't concentrate. Things came to a head when they brought the whole team on a work getaway to Menorca that I really didn't want to go on. I had meltdowns in the airport on the way there and on the way back and felt I was going to lose my job because of them. The week after we got back I managed to complete the task and was fired immediately. I had been expecting it but I was not expecting to be informed the same day and told to leave my keys to the building. I did not really understand what was going on and I felt really awfully let down after all those group exercises about how we were a family.
Now I don't know what to do and my anxiety is driving me crazy. I'm failing tech tests I should pass and employers aren't being accommodating about adjustments at interview - one in particular is demanding I make a video of myself explaining my work and this is not something where I feel I understand what I'm being tested on - I don't want to be a presenter, I want to be a coder.
I'm going crazy. If I don't get a job before Christmas I won't be able to feed myself or my cat - my cat is the reason I've stayed alive really and I don't want to live without her. I don't want to go on Universal Credit either because I'm sick of the jobcentre. They are not subtle about how much they hate people like me and I don't like being around people who despise people who need help.
You were set up to fail by a bully, basically, by the sound of it. That's what happened to me in my last job. It was actually a lovely place to work to begin with, the best I've ever experienced (a small educational technology company, mostly doing CAD and a little programming). Then the R&D manager was replaced by a complete a-hole who's background was actually sales and marketing - he hadn't a clue how to deal with engineers. I wasn't the only one on the receiving end, there was another colleague who seemed to have some kind of developmental condition who got it in the neck even worse than I did - same as you, overt put-downs in front of the whole team at standups. It didn't help that I was dumb enough to call him out on it one day when I just snapped. My ability to get the job done completely disintegrated, and I was still waiting for my autism assessment at the time, so I wasn't in a position to ask for adjustments.
It's probably best to do what Robert123 suggested for the time being and get yourself a little income from UC, horrible though it is - and insist that you are seen by one of the JobCentre's disability staff (DEA). If you let your finances run down too much, it could put you in an even worse place for finding further employment, and you should be put under a little less pressure if you're on a DEA caseload.
Disclosure is a tricky one, but my gut feeling is that disclosing is best. I know that whether I do or not, I'll be "outed" as soon as I have my first melt-down at least, if not before when my other traits get noticed. I may as well be rejected by a-hole employers right from the get go, as if they're not autism-friendly, I'll be kicked out soon enough whatever I say, and have another black-mark on my CV. Of course, I respect that this might not be so appropriate for you.
That sounds like good advice and I think I had probably better sign on for UC asap - I have an interview on Fri with an employer I have disclosed to during the interview phase (but only because they were messing me about so I'm not optimistic). I just hate this stuff - I should have a career by now and be on my way to putting down a deposit for a house - as it is I don't think I'll ever have a space I can really call my own even tho that is the only thing that will make me feel happy and safe.