Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello, i have a brother in his early 30s we highly suspect has Aspergers or something similar. Have done some reading online and seems like it's important we get him diagnosed. In the mean time, me and another sibling are trying to get our brother to understand and make changes to his current habits/lifestyle. for example, he neglects personal hygiene. He doesn't take regular showers to the point a layer of skin/dirt accumulates all over his body, developing sores, filthy home, mites, etc. he's not regularly changing his clothes, i.e. underwear/socks and so the smell is obviously offending.
The reasons may be far from obvious so I agree with qwerty it's a good idea to discuss it with your brother. Sometimes people find it embarrassing to ask about this kind of thing but it's often the best way to understand what's going on.
Years ago I worked with a woman whose personal care deteriorated dramatically. When I asked her about this she said it was because of the lighting in her bathroom. The psychiatrist had assumed it was a deterioration in her mental health and wanted to give her a higher dose of anti-psychotic medication. Environmental factors are often underestimated.
If you can be really neutral, unemotional and non-judgmental when you ask about this it may help. My sister came to clean my house when it got in a state after the birth of my first child. I felt very ashamed and I was acutely conscious of her reaction to my mess. In some ways it would have been easier if it had been someone I knew less well helping me to sort things out.
I'm beginning to wonder if we need professional help as he tries (successfully) to avoid answering/addressing any questions regarding his lack of hygiene...