Published on 12, July, 2020
Does anybody else find that they struggle to manage their autistic traits far more at this time of year than normal? I've been really struggling lately, to the point where I questioned whether I could carry on with my job in its current form.
Part of it I think is the change of clocks, which, due to my completely ridiculous commute, now means that I leave in the dark and get home in the dark. I don't see daylight Monday to Friday as a result, because I work in London and the number of people is terrifying so I never, ever go outside at lunchtime. I know this isn't good for me because I do suffer from SAD so this just makes me depressed.
Thinking about it logically, I can see that I have had serious problems at this time for the last few years. In fact it was one of these periods that left me seriously questioning my mental state and that ultimately led to me figuring out what was going on and getting my AS diagnosis. But this time of year I have had anxiety go through the roof, walked out of jobs, had meltdowns .... too many things to be a coincidence.
Does anyone else find that this is a bad time generally?
Every year this seems to affect me more and more : ( I'm hoping to maybe book a holiday in January somewhere sunny. I think I dislike the dark mornings because I like to go running before work but already it is too dark to do that now : ( but I also really hate going to work in the dark and coming home in the dark. I just want to hibernate in my house until spring.