I hear ya! And I can totally relate...

I'm sorry to hear that you had a negative experience...

I'm reading the list, saying Yes to each point (about myself), remembering the events which led to me losing my previous job and wishing I'd had the formal diagnosis earlier than this year.

My line manager started asking me whether I'd read the company's policy on "Staring" and, on reflection and with the help of friends' explanations, I now realise 1. I was staring a lot without being aware of that, 2. People felt uncomfortable with the way I was staring, 3. Nobody at work was aware that I had Autism, so they didn't make any special allowances for my difference in social interaction/gazing etc, 4. I had no idea that the company didn't have a policy on "Staring" because I tend to take what others say very literally... I spent about 3 days searching the company's intranet for the Staring policy, I asked my peers, then asked other managers, before finally asking the manager who had raised the subject. (After all that, he simply said that there probably wasn't one, which confused me further... I was just trying to follow corporate procedure and carry out my line manager's instructions.)

Things went downhill very quickly, as per usual when I start a new job, and I was not offered the position when my probation came to an end.... thank goodness for my diagnosis! I'm learning to express myself, explain my 'differences' and generally receive less judgmental, more understanding responses from people these days :-)

The first time I saw myself on video recorded at a party I was really shocked as to how I looked. Up until that point I thought I looked normal but the tape revealed my eyes were all over the place and I looked very ill at ease to put it nicely. My girlfriend jokingly called me Mr Shifty, making me sound like a dodgy ice cream vendor, but she was right. On the questionnaire I got 22.

If someone is approaching me in the street they will often look behind them to see who it is I am giving the evil eye to. It surprises me every time because I think my expression is fairly neutral, I'm just watching where I'm going and avoiding eye contact. Next time this happens I will ask them if they think I have a "deviant style of gaze".  

I have the exact opposite; a certain hypnotic look that tranquillises people by giving them a profound insight into how completely befuddled I am!

I've been in quite a few situation where either I realised much later, or someone else told me, that I'd completely avoided some kind of nastiness without doing anything more proactive than standing there looking utterly perplexed; for example, avoiding aggro in the pub over a spilled drink, or walking straight through the middle of a fight that's breaking out without noticing the slightest thing amiss.

My partner has one of those looks! It quite clearly spells impending doom for the person on the receiving end! And he is what is nt although trying to get diagnosis for our daughter has started him questioning himself

I was bullied a lot at school, but became quite proficient at giving my tormentors an 'Evil Eye Stare' of such condensed hatred that it use to really creep them out, not sure if that counts as a 'Deviant Gaze' but I would like to think so .

Old saying.

Common sense is uncommon.

It is a common refrain from my OH... that I might have 3 degrees and masters but really no common sense at all!! 

Books are straightforward..... real life a confusion!!! ;p

1. 18 lacks common sense! Isn't that most children 

Just call me Mr. A. S. D. Stereotype - 23/27 (being a little broad with interpretation)! 

"Deviant Gaze" though! What an absolutely terrible choice of words! I can't decide whether it sounds more like a peeping Tom or an 80's hard-core punk band! (bagsies on the band name - Google couldn't find it!)

I they mean a 1000-yard stare in no particular direction, or eyes to the floor when moving around, then I am certainly "deviant". When I'm trying really hard to listen to what someone's saying, I gradually block out all other senses aside from hearing, as it's just a lot easier to process their words that way. Unfortunately this means that the more I'm paying attention, the less I look like I'm paying attention. I try to remember to go "mmm" fairly regularly, but I often forget that too. People quite often seem a bit startled by how much I've taken in when I finally find something to say.

It's only since everyone started walking around with a video camera in their pocket that I've realised quite how odd my posture, movements, and expressions can look. They are nothing like what I imagine from inside my head. I always knew that I had pretty bad proprioception, but I was very taken aback to see footage of myself for the first time a few years ago - it explains a lot of problems I used to have with gymnastics/sport at school and formation marching in BB. In a mirror, I just don't notice it at all, but I have a bit of an issue with mirrors generally (besides my questionable aesthetics, that is!); they do something rather odd to my spacial perception and mind-body connection (I find this amusing rather than frightening!)

I certainly had - and still do - the "12. lacks empathy" and having "21. involuntary face or body movements" when it comes to my "18. lacks common sense" against the common mindset of Bullies... because I just run away... (!)

Sounds like you had a rough time of it...but I’d like to believe that was purely down to lack of appreciation or fear of your brilliance 

Um... (Oh no! I have begun to say "Um" during "Live Chat"!!)... off topic, totally, but it may be the speed of your reply, but if you were typing a reply then I did not see that! Is it in white, now? - another thing to put upon the complaints Thread!

...Apart from that... um, Thanks. But since childhood I still have a better deviant glare than anyone else here, nerr, and if you want to argue with that then its me and you behind them bike sheds outside, there... (!)

Lastly, at school, I had a best friend, and we were both quite tall, so that was useful against "bullies" sometimes. Not much else to say after all that, here, just now...

But you’re wonderful 

I actually get/got 1, 2, and 6 a lot. (I was sometimes nicknamed "Doc Brown" at school - nowadays I am nicknamed "Robocop").

...Looking through the Whole thing, I only score about 12/27 though... 

I have a Deviant Gaze, for sure, though: and so I usually walk looking downwards. If I did not, I would probably leave a trail of crying/trembling strangers and Police Enquiries behind me wherever I went...     :-D

Never apologise DC

__Pathfinder__ said:

Find me someone in the world who doesnt have a deviant gaze. 

George Clooney. Or Paul Hollywood. Or Kristin Scott-Thomas. Or Judi Dench. Or... maybe I should pretend that I did not just Post this, sorry... (!)

I do this.. *whistles inconspicuously*

7      invents idiosyncratic words and expressions

bollix I do!