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Feeling like giving up

Whats-His-Face

hi all before I start I must apologise as I’ve already posted something similar before. 

Im in a job that’s making me ill(mentally) but feel trapped as I can’t afford not to work and can’t get benefits. 

Last week my wife and I went away for 4 days and I was feeling gd. Within a day of being home my mood drastically dropped and the anxiety and stress of going back to work was overbearing. 

Today is my first day back and it took everything I had to come in.

i got diagnosed over a month ago and thought things would change but they haven’t, I still feel alone and down all the time. I don’t know if I can do it all anymore and really want to give up. 

  • in reply to scrp14

    Nobody believes in meltdowns when I say to a doctor about it they say what’s a meltdown thought doctors were supposed to know everything.As The Doctor (Slvester McCoy)said “I hate doctors they know everything)”

  • in reply to Sunflower

    Everybody keeps passing the buck so nobody wants to help 

  • in reply to Whats-His-Face

    Sorry to hear about your unhappiness at work. I've been in a similar position recently, and in previous jobs. It's hard when you have to keep working to support yourself and your family. A reduction in hours might relieve the pressure, protect your health, and give you time to make plans. I do hope your boss will be supportive and make adjustments for you. If they won't other organisations may be able to help - ACAS, Access to Work, Trade Union (if you belong to one). The job you cope well with when covering holidays may suggest the type of work that really suits you. It might be worth telling your boss that you would be keen to do it on a regular basis if an opportunity comes up. Do hope things get easier for you soon.

  • I felt the same being off work can’t get help or benefits,seeing that no professionals want to help in Shaftesbury CMHT or DAAS inPoole Dorset I’ve decided to forget that I’ve got Aspergers I’m blanking everything out and just to concentrate on my job I don’t really like it but there it is.I don’t think autism isn’t  real it’s all in the mind as they say.Having a diagnosis doesn’t help either.CMHT in Shaftesbury are rubbish All professionals are rubbish they don’t know what they re talking about.

  • in reply to scrp14

    I’d love to do a kylo ren lol

  • Feel like  i relate somewhat, first week I was super excited and enthusiastic about  my new work, but days later, 1 out of 4 days i start experiencing meltdowns, as in frequent visits to the toilet to clear my head rather than physical manifestations that would grab the attention of nearby workers or if i'm lucky enough a quiet workspace to gather my thoughts.

    I'm constantly telling family (whenever they ask how i'm doing) that all is well but even though i'm coping physically, mentally I am building up pressure over time and today happens to be one of those days I explode, and have the sudden urge to do a kylo ren and lash out on everything.  Jokes aside though, the only way out of this thing i've been cornered into was to just leave without their knowing, pretend I wasn't there at all, and walk it off.

  • This sounds tough and I’m sorry to hear this. It sounds like you may need to consider asking for reasonable adjustments at work to help you cope. There are a number of adjustments that could help and I’d advise looking at the National Autistic Society employment webpages as a starting point. Hopefully, these will go a long way to improving your work environment.

  • in reply to Yttrium

    Yes they are aware of both and I’m thinking of asking to work fewer hours

  • Do your employers know that you are autistic? Do they know that you're suffering because of the work?

     I have been in similar situations to you and didn't make any attempt to talk to my bosses. Each time I just walked out. I regret it now. With a bit of friendly communication maybe I could've worked fewer hours or been spared certain stressful duties. 

    All the best.

    Ytt