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Feeling like giving up

Whats-His-Face

hi all before I start I must apologise as I’ve already posted something similar before. 

Im in a job that’s making me ill(mentally) but feel trapped as I can’t afford not to work and can’t get benefits. 

Last week my wife and I went away for 4 days and I was feeling gd. Within a day of being home my mood drastically dropped and the anxiety and stress of going back to work was overbearing. 

Today is my first day back and it took everything I had to come in.

i got diagnosed over a month ago and thought things would change but they haven’t, I still feel alone and down all the time. I don’t know if I can do it all anymore and really want to give up. 

Parents

  • Feel like  i relate somewhat, first week I was super excited and enthusiastic about  my new work, but days later, 1 out of 4 days i start experiencing meltdowns, as in frequent visits to the toilet to clear my head rather than physical manifestations that would grab the attention of nearby workers or if i'm lucky enough a quiet workspace to gather my thoughts.

    I'm constantly telling family (whenever they ask how i'm doing) that all is well but even though i'm coping physically, mentally I am building up pressure over time and today happens to be one of those days I explode, and have the sudden urge to do a kylo ren and lash out on everything.  Jokes aside though, the only way out of this thing i've been cornered into was to just leave without their knowing, pretend I wasn't there at all, and walk it off.

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