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Permanently exhausted... trying to do too much, or just exhausted by life?

DaisyDuck
over 5 years ago

Hello

I'm finding, at 46, that I have significantly less capacity/energy than I used to. I've been self employed for 6 years (which is just a different type of stress but at least I have more control over when & where I work).  This is probably a 'how long is a piece of string' question but how can I tell if I'm "trying to do too much", or I'm excessively exhausted trying to do very little.  I'm struggling to get a read on it.  Chatting with other non-Aspies I trust it doesn't feel like I'm achieving a great deal considering how exhausted I am.  I've not been formally diagnosed as Aspergers, but feel it is a dead cert given everything I've read, and I have no other indication or reason to believe I'm not healthy so I'm reluctant to go to the doctors.  I have a healthy diet and get decent sleep etc.

Do you find you get more tired than you expect from doing different activities? I know that some things (socialising, noisy environments) wear me out, and seemingly more strenuous activities (hillwalking) energise me so it's hard to get a sense of how to manage my energy levels.

Any thoughts on this are welcome, sorry the question is not very clear.

Daisy

Parents
  • over 5 years ago

    I’m 10 years older than you and yes I have those issues too and think it’s common in our community. The older I get the more of an issue it becomes.  unfortunately I don’t have any advice other than you need a baseline of activities you can manage regularly, then the other things have to be added in sparingly. Look up The Spoon Theory. It says we have so many units of energy to use each day. Each thing we do uses up these units and some tasks use more units than others. You can use less units or more units but they ideally need to balance. But you have to work out which activities use more units and if this varies. You have to barter with yourself so for example if you have interacted in person/phone/email you then need to make sure you have space from this in the afternoon or evening. It’s to do with the type of energy and what it requires of you.. like you for me interaction of any kind is tiring but green space, trees, nature etc is calming it nurtures, being creative is also, media/films/radio/music can be either because it’s noise and uses different kinds of light and stimulus but it can also be soothing if it helps switching off from other things. 

    I’m not sure I’ve explained myself at all well... but yes fatigue is a problem and so is managing it as is learning which things make you more tired and which help. 

Reply
  • over 5 years ago

    I’m 10 years older than you and yes I have those issues too and think it’s common in our community. The older I get the more of an issue it becomes.  unfortunately I don’t have any advice other than you need a baseline of activities you can manage regularly, then the other things have to be added in sparingly. Look up The Spoon Theory. It says we have so many units of energy to use each day. Each thing we do uses up these units and some tasks use more units than others. You can use less units or more units but they ideally need to balance. But you have to work out which activities use more units and if this varies. You have to barter with yourself so for example if you have interacted in person/phone/email you then need to make sure you have space from this in the afternoon or evening. It’s to do with the type of energy and what it requires of you.. like you for me interaction of any kind is tiring but green space, trees, nature etc is calming it nurtures, being creative is also, media/films/radio/music can be either because it’s noise and uses different kinds of light and stimulus but it can also be soothing if it helps switching off from other things. 

    I’m not sure I’ve explained myself at all well... but yes fatigue is a problem and so is managing it as is learning which things make you more tired and which help. 

Children
  • over 5 years ago in reply to Misfit61

    Thank you Misfit61, as ever it's always nice to know I'm not alone in this, and thank you for directing me to the Spoon Theory, it seems a lot like something I call "energy accounting" and I try and plan my diary as to how fatiguing different activities are rather than the time they take.  I suspect I'm in an industry that is not a good fit for me (I only realised I have Aspergers last year) but I'm not sure now what to do about that as I love what I do and have worked hard to change from what I was doing to this. Maybe it's time for a rethink.  Maybe I just need a day for just recharging.  Thank you for commenting.