Communication issues


 I’m a 20 year old on the spectrum and have such difficulty with understanding people.

My best friend is also on the spectrum and we spend a lot of time together. Sometimes he calls me when I don’t want to be disturbed which makes me anxious. 

He prefers calling and I prefer texting. I prefer texting because it gives me more time to think and also gives me time to process as processing skills are quite a huge difficulty for me. He prefers calling because he is a very chatty lad and I wonder if it’s motivating for him to keep the conversation going. 

I don’t know how I can express this to him without him thinking I’m ignoring him or him thinking I’m angry with him. I appreciate that he’s checking on me which is so sweet of him when really I want space and time by myself. 

I find it hard to explain my processing and communication difficulties because I find I’m always masking and people don’t believe that’s the way I function.

Some helpful tips on how to communicate my situation to him would be nice. ;) 

  • I have the same problems in social situations - it's almost like they are speaking another language and I need a couple of seconds to translate - which makes conversation a bit stilted. It's even worse if they have a strong accent - double translation time. It makes me look insincere to them because I don't respond like they would expect me to.

    In a technical environment, I am highly interactive because it's all just data - no emotions, no hidden meanings, no lies, just pure, clean data.

    I prefer dealing with NTs in writing - it removes ambiguity and it gives me the time to straighten out my thoughts before hitting 'send'.

  • I'm exactly the same.

    I always prefer dealing with people in writing. It gives me more time to think and gives me time to process. I also need time to translate.

    And I almost do not phones at all. I only speak on the phone with one person know and even then I would prefer to text or e-mail if I could with the person.