Published on 12, July, 2020
I can't stand stereotypes and do not wish to be defined by my condition. I would rather people saw me as an individual with strengths and weaknesses, some of which can be explained by me having Asperger's syndrome, rather than defining me by a label. This is why I can't stand the word 'aspie'. While having Aspergers is an important part of my identity, it is no more important than me being female, no more important than my sexuality or my age. I would hate it if someone did not see past me being a woman or past my age, why is having aspergers any different? The disability movement campaigned for disability to be seen not as an individual affliction or difference, to move beyond individualising disability and to see it as a societal problem: people with disabilities should campaign collectively to change society, making it imperative to see the person before the disability. I am a person with asperger's syndrome, not an aspie. I share traits that other people with AS may have, but I don't share all the traits, just enough to have aspergers. We are all different, to say I am an aspie suggests conformity with other 'aspies' and obliterates the part of me that defies easy categorization.
I think that the label 'Aspergers' acts as a signpost, but beyond that it can be self-reinforcing. You label jam-jars, not people. There is a sense in which, by merging with the label, you lose touch with what is unique about you. This certainly has been a learning experience for me. Around diagnosis, I did almost merge with the label, so glad to have found out why I behave differently from the norm, so glad I was not alone and that others shared similar difficulties. Four years on from diagnosis I have progressed along the path of self-knowledge and now see aspergers as just one part of me, but not the whole of me. Having met many others with AS, I realise how different we are, and how, just because two people both have aspergers, does not mean they can necessarily offer mutual support or get on with other. We only share a label of conveniance, nothing more.