Women on the Spectrum... revisited

Glad to see this thread. 

I've come to the realisation in the past month that I'm probably on the autistic spectrum (43 year old woman, no kids, working full time) and my father probably is too. It would explain our quirks and challenges and how these have and continue to impact our lives. At this stage, I feel quite positive about this discovery and the possibility of connecting with a community and greater understanding.  

I'm in the early stages of gathering info for a referral and am reading up on the experiences of women with a diagnosis of ASC and the work of Tony Attwood (I love that man) and Sarah Hendrickx among others. 

I imagine that as my journey progresses I'll be stopping by here more often to ask for your advice and reflections. 

At this stage I'm just really wishing to say 'hello' to you all and that I'm glad forums such as these exist. 

Saz 

Hi Saz

Iam also 43 and holding down a job etc... yes, Tony Attwood and Sarah Hendrix are good.

have you also read any Cynthia Kim .. lots of good material on her website

https://musingsofanaspie.com/about/

And Odd Girl Out is a good gentle read by Laura James.

hows your journey so far? 

Hi ., 

I haven't checked Cynthia Kim's blog site yet, or Odd Girl Out, but will certainly take a look following your recommendation.

My personal autism journey is still in its infancy, and so far it's meant that I've had some very honest conversations with my parents and sister. My sister had already wondered if I could be on the spectrum due to my awkwardness socialising in large groups and other behaviours present or lacking. My parents are understanding - it's actually brought us closer - and my father has been reflecting on his own life through the lens of autism. 

I work with adults with learning disabilities and ASC and have always felt that I shared what I considered to be some superficial similarities with my autistic clients (preference for being alone, dislike of noisy crowded places). I framed my experience as introversion as I didn't fit the typical (male) ASC profile. It's only more recently that I've become aware of the different female expression of ASC and 'masking' through the writing of women diagnosed as autistic.

I guess, unlike myself, most people probably don't spend their free time obsessively Google searching research papers on a limited number of subjects, such as autism, emotional intimacy and relating or of having only one or two friends. It's also probably quite unusual for the majority of the population to feel as content with and able to tolerate such long stretches of solitude as I do.

I can recall dozens of times where I've been invited to group social events, said I would go, spent hours getting ready, felt the gradual rise of my anxiety then not left the house when its time. I've done this many, many times and not really known why other than the idea of staying at home feels much more appealing than going out to meet people.

When I was younger I consciously observed others from the sidelines and copied things people said & not always appropriately (it's a bad idea to copy the banter of pubescent boys). My memories of playing are fuzzier though I remember using dolls and acting things out, but have a sense there was a lot of repetition of the same sequences & conversations.  

I feel deeply and can struggle to identify and articulate my more subtle emotions when called upon. I have slight face blindness and use context to remember who people are. My sense of smell is mostly poor and I fail to detect overpowering odours, such as faeces and cat urine that others react strongly to though can detect faint chemical smells when my colleagues can't.

In truth, I think that I've been viewed by others as being a little bit odd for most of my life, but that this has been perceived as quirks of my personality, slight mental health issues or perhaps perceived personal shortcomings. I've viewed the negative reactions of others as reflecting a lack of openness on their part, sometimes a meanness of spirit or them being overly judgemental and have tended to avoid these kinds of people -and most others too.  

Gradually piecing these snapshots together.

Saz  

. AND thank you for your warm and friendly welcome. I have a feeling that this and other autistic forums are going to be a big part of my future X X 

How wonderfully expressed. I have been on this site for almost a year now... I don’t have a partner or family who understand, but like you I have spent years supporting others on the spectrum but only recently put myself in that lens.

do enjoy and engage in the forum... when I first joined my first thread was about finding other women in similar circumstance... one of the reasons why I try and keep its mast aloft x

How wonderfully expressed. I have been on this site for almost a year now... I don’t have a partner or family who understand, but like you I have spent years supporting others on the spectrum but only recently put myself in that lens.

do enjoy and engage in the forum... when I first joined my first thread was about finding other women in similar circumstance... one of the reasons why I try and keep its mast aloft x

. AND thank you for your warm and friendly welcome. I have a feeling that this and other autistic forums are going to be a big part of my future X X