Bullying - With Experience

Greetings. I know that this Thread has dropped away of late. Great Thanks to all who posted - "venting" is still invited, and we may notice that there is not much "interaction", maybe...

I myself have not finished with this Thread, and perhaps never shall. But I needed a reminder of the kind of Frustration which started it, and I gained that today, and so I post again.

Being Bullied By Children and Adults... while as a child and now still as an adult. (Please see my UserName again, for it is a life-long matter.)

While doing nothing but standing or walking, I have "double-takes", finger-pointing, throwing things, insults, "egging", yelling, lies, people bunching up to get in my way (e.g. to "stare at the weirdo"). I repeat that this is some children and adults as well.

When I must do a regular shop, the item may be removed from sale, and some Shop Assistants are always tailing me, and some Security Guards stand there, grinning.

When I must exit where I "live", some are waiting outside, to pursue me and to heckle me. They may begin to consider it thier main preoccupation, and play "Knock-a-door-run", or defacate outside, or leave litter including dead animals.

Changing behaviour and/ appearence does nothing. If a "Bully" (child and adult, I say again) wants to pick upon anyone, then the reason does not and never ever matters. "They are just weird!" "They are stupid!" "I nevver did nuthin'! They just got in my way!"

...If anyone wants to know how the "mind of a 'bully' works", then I am a good person to ask.

(I suppose that this Thread really is over, now... but not for myself while I am stuck here as I am.)

Disambiguating Cynosure

Have you ever reported any of this to the Police ? 

The defecating / dead animals if found to be caused by a human and targeted at you due to your perceived difference /disability would constitute a Hate Crime under the law. 

Thank You for the Posts, Possibly Autistic. This is in short...

By some intervention of things Greater than us (!), I must admit that, at the moment, the long-term perpetrators who victimised me have "moved away" - both of them - and so that is only JUST NOW not as bad as they were...

However, given what I write, and your answer, this STILL happens to me from strangers: The thing is, they are almost always Children. The chasing/throwing stuff occurs. Woe betide me, should they find out where I "live", for then they know where to come in order to "have some fun"...

At the time of being victimised, I had no formal diagnosis. Now I do. And the new children should be aware of it. But END OF TERM HOLIDAYS are always a time which I dread, and this shall be their first time. Bored Children and Adults, are when the absolute worst occurs... I avoid them, and wait and see what this Year brings.

This year shall be my first time declaring the Autism against "bored Children" who know where I "live". They have already chased me and heckled me and do the "waiting outside" things. August and Sunny Days are not good times for myself.

With regards to the Police, I think that they would side with the parents: "Oh, they are just playing!" "Kids will be kids!" "No real harm done!"... and as to defecation / dead animals or what other deviltry may occur... I cannot PROVE who did it, and if I did... "Oh they are just children! They didn't mean it!" over and over and over.

I have learnt by now how to lessen such things. When strangers are nearby (including children, of course), I wait for them to leave, or go away and come back after an hour or two. (Or late at night.)

...I said that was "in short", but this was a long-ish Post anyway, sorry.

Read below....I have since changed and now invite looks. Mostly nice comments, well dressed, very smart. Nice that someone makes the effort sir.

x()x

Very long, but thorough. Thank You Very much for this.

Ok well it doesn’t take much to experience bullying as DC has said.

long before I had heard about autism I soon found out where we moved into was not the place for me, As a married man with two children it was soon apparent we were round pegs trying to fit into a square hole.

we did try to integrate but it was obvious we were not the same, thinking back it was deemed we were the “ POSH” ones! Now I was dragged up on a typical council estate back in the sixties, I do not consider myself “ posh” in any way, I am very proud to be working class, and yes worked hard all my life, had nothing but hand me downs and second hand toys. Often went hungry. 

My kids struggled to fit even at school. It seemed we were to be singled out from the start. 

I worked which was a rare thing amongst the neighbours, we were an ordinary family, we had pride in our garden, I had a very old car but polished it most weekends, I also fixed it and maintained it, money was tight.

The children outside were kicked out early morning and weren’t allowed in during the day, they often fought or vandalised everything, breaking trees not not planted, throwing rocks at each other. Using drains as toilets,spitting at each other.

When they got bored there attention turned to us, constantly kicking balls at our walls and door, and the odd window.

As they got older the packs got bigger and they got worse, our children were kept inside but had plenty of toys, good garden toys,swings sandpit slides etc, often we would let the other children in on the understanding they play nicely and behave. Mostly they did, what joy it was to see them play and not fight.

When they reached teenage years it got worse,constant damage to my car, door banging, kicking balls hard against our door, when confronted they would chirp up, “ you can’t touch us we are younger than ten and the police can’t touch us” the parents actually backed them and were often outside drinking cans of beer or smoking skunk weed or dope cannabis..

We called the police often but the officer was friends with them, he did nothing, often saying we were causing trouble..

Eventually one day we had six police officers here, nearly every neighbour was outside my door baying for my blood. I had spoken out and asked them to leave us in peace. 

Luckily one officer knew the other policeman was not doing his job and was giving them a bad name.

he arranged a visit for us to see his superior. After that everything went very quite, no more damage, quite nights, how very strange!

so after years of abuse for being normal, eggs thrown, rocks hurled, car damaged, insults and threats, kids walking in front of my car deliberately to stop my car. It all stopped.

So telling the authorities did nothing, the police did nothing, no one cared, there were to many of them and just us.

I was proud to be working class and still am. They were non working state benefit scroungers, new phones, latest clothes, new furniture, good holidays.. all the trimmings. Paid for out of my earnings by way of state benefit.

We looked normal, we behaved, we worked hard, kept things clean,often sneaking out at night to tidy the estate up...bags of rubbish,

picking up rocks to deter them and deprive them of ammunition.

You don’t need a reason to be picked on, just be not quite the same, we looked no different, we did not dress weird or act weird just normal.

It is quieter these days, new house “owners” not housing association tenants. New children young but some how different. 

It was horrific living here, kept me up most nights, always on edge, the law didn’t work,,,One work mate told me where I went wrong, I should have decked one of the parents day one to send home a Message!

so beat one of them up!

I could not descend to thier level. I am not an animal. I expected the law to protect me,ha ha no way.

bullying comes in all forms, 

It changed my view on society. When working class is considered posh it has failed completely. 

I do live in an association property, but I work and have my pride. They have no pride and expect to do nothing but be cared for.

the end of what life really is like.

my rant.. 

take care all of you. Be you no matter what it takes, 

This topic does beg "chat" (discussion)... yet I cannot guarantee to be here for much longer at this time...

To strangers, I have learnt to say little else but "Please", "Thank You", and "Excuse me.". The thing is as I said, that when certain persons are looking for something to pick upon or to hate, then the excuse absolutely does not matter. I cannot emphasize that enough - If they want to bully something/someone, then they focus upon that. That is my "Cynosure" aspect.

Also as I said, I walk, looking at the ground, saying nothing. I see the lower halves of people... their feet are often the first indicator of their direction of travel (!). I step aside, waaaaay in advance. I also listen and smell (!). I weave, dodge, side-step, turn away, cross-the-road... and the thing is that if they intend to pick upon myself, by gadfrey I jolly well make certain that they have to WORK to do so! I am not ashamed to even back up, stop, or run away... to avoid them. 

All of this I have learnt to do. All situations are different, but all "bullies" act the same. And I, as I said, may post more here about it as I began this Thread. Thank You (& all) for reading or Posting.

I'm surprised that you have these problems because on many of your contributions on this forum you seem very intelligent and articulate.

I, in contrast have been accused of being insensitive, clumsy, and as the saying goes, a bull in a China shop. Saying the wrong things, upsetting people, not showing respect to managers and people who consider themselves better.   I treat everyone equally.

Your memory is better than mine.

We did indeed have this conversation 7 months ago.

Your memory is better than mine.

We did indeed have this conversation 7 months ago.