Published on 12, July, 2020
Greetings. This is one of those Threads which I have been meaning to start for a very very long time. Adults and "People with Children" are welcome to Post and/or "Vent", equally. Please feel free to write anything... and if you can, end it with some resolution/positve hindsight/result.
This is a bad Topic, which I am fed up of seeing sidelined or not fully discussed. "Being Bullied At School" is/was also actually a part of the "Diagnostic Criteria" for ASCs! Please share here experiences, and how you did or would have dealt with them. The more shared, I honestly believe, the more is learnt, if this is is discussed openly and without reservation, Thank You.
I shall begin with only a few things. Advice for dealing with Bullies includes "Ignoring them" and "Laughing them away". This advice does not work, as they either give chase, or they think that Bullying is being *enjoyed* by ALL concerned!
Thanks for any replies in advance.
I was bullied throughout school and in the workplace too. In fact from my experience i would say that an open plan office feels much the same as the classroom. The only way i got through school was to tell myself that adult life would not be like that, but sadly of course those people grew up to behave in the same way as adults!! (I include myself in that statement too obviously) At school i just tried to keep off the radar as much as possible. Being noticed was never a good thing. I got pretty good at hiding and moving quickly when necessary. I'm still trying to improve with techniques for dealing with difficult adults. I can only say at this point that i am slowly adding to my database of which scenarios look similar to others that have ended badly! For example, trying to spot hints that someone might be playing mind games etc. Very difficult though.
It's brave of you to be trying to unpick clues to mind games, manipulation etc. I'm useless at it, I never see it coming and get left coping with the consequences. Perhaps I should make more effort.
It's very hard work. If i do notice it's usually late on in the process i.e they are already laughing at me...but maybe i will improve one day! I do walk straight into these traps constantly. And then of course, realising there is a game going on is only one part of it, as you then have to decide what to do to get away from it. Sometimes it's not even possible in the workplace.
If i have a particularly stressful incident i try to remember as accurately as i can what happened and then tell my sister about it. She can then explain what was going on. She's really good with people and understands me well, so she can usually offer some useful insights and tell me what she would have said or done in that situation.